Karlee May Brown

She's pretty much a rockstar!

I had the incredible blessing of shooting these with my hero in photography Ben Edwards! It was such a great afternoon for a Senior Shoot!!! Karlee was totally amazing, watching Ben do what he does was inspiring and the CREATOR did an amazing job with the lighting and the crazy-cool place we got to be! All of the above pics i took on my camera, while Ben was doing his thing... but stay tuned... i'm hoping to get my hands on some of the ones i took with his camera (aka my dream camera!).

my BFF

this is Heidi Lynn Miller and myself. We hang out a lot. I consider her my BFF. I intorduce her as either; my Best Friend or my future Sister in law. Either works.
I am so blessed to have her in my life. She is amazing, forgiving, loving, kind, gentle, full of God, full of Faith and she believes in my dreams when i am a crying mess of hopelessness!!!

PRAISE THE LORD for;
moving 1 girl 800+ miles
moving another girl 400+ miles
Managers at RR who hired both girls
Silly conversations about movie quotes
Concerts with a Prayer
Crying at 302
Picking apples
Laughing a lot
OUTRAGEOUS ideas
sleep-overs
giggling under the covers
watching House, but not the gross parts
roses
road trips
outrageous ideas being a reality
spaghetti
crazy pictures
outrageous

Heidi,
i'm looking forward to many more adventures and good times. Thanks for walking with the Lord and coming to Bend. I am so blessed to know you. So blessed to have you in my life. So blessed to call you my BFF. Let's; live next door to each other, never wear shoes, have little aprons, sun dresses that match, name our kids things like Meredeth and Verily and plant flowers along our white picket fence.
i love you to the moon.

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Just Smiles Photography

"Capturing Moments You'll Remember Forever" Female 23 years old BEND, Oregon United States Last Login: 9/17/2008 Mood: artistic View My: Pics | Videos

Word of the Week= Hope

Hope; noun, verb, hoped, hop·ing.
1. the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: to give up hope.
2. to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.
3. to feel that something desired may happen: We hope for an early spring.

~

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds."
Hebrews 10:23-24

Hope has been my word this week. It seems no matter where i turn in my devos there is something relating to or talking about hope. Heb. 10:23-24 was on the bottom of my journal page this morning and it jumped up into my writing and begged for some attention. I am pretty sure it was that little 4 letter word that most caught my attention. H-O-P-E. The definition above spells it out nicely, so i won't bother re-defining it. My favorite line is this; that events will turn out for the best. Yum. I think mostly it relates to all that my week has entailed. I am hoping and actually BELIEVING that the events in my life are not happen-stance, but rather have a purpose, allowed and directed for a purpose. I certainly don't see the whole picture of my life, and why they are happening this way. I only have a Guide that helps me navigate each day. It's been a roller-coaster, as you can probably tell from the last week of blog postings. I've had lots of hands-in-the-air smiling moments, and then the next moment holding on for dear life with a face full of uncertainty and fear.

unswervingly.
1. Not veering or turning aside; steady
2. In a constant and steadfast manner

This is how we are to hold to the HOPE we claim to have. (say #2 with an English accent, so much more fun). FOR HE WHO PROMISED IS FAITHFUL! I am learning more each day about the faithfulness of Jesus. He is the most trustworthy person EVER! He does keep all His promises, He does exactly what He says He will do. Sometimes i am the one who over thinks HOW it will be done and WHEN i will see the fulfillment, but there is no doubt it will be complete. In the last year and a half i have learned so much that this is true:

"You'll never know how Jesus can be all you need until he is all you have."

I know the provision of His hand, because it has been my what allows my life to happen. I know the kindness of His friendship, because in my most lonely moments, He has been my faithful friend. I know the most intimate Love, because when i long for it most, He shows up and His presence is indescribable! Sometimes i am afraid to be alone in my house, but then i hear Him whisper my name, and my heart skips a beat. There is nothing like KNOWING the Jesus you live for. It makes holding on the HOPE so easy, because when the doubt try to sneak in, you've got all the proof of your life that HE is all you need. HE is the only one who holds the keys to unlocking the life you dream of! In fact it's highly likely he gave you the dream in the first place!

Get to know the ONE who is HOPE and LIFE. The One who knows the WHYs, WHENs, WHATs and HOWs. and hold unswervingly, not only to Hope, but to His hand; it might be a wild ride.

just some thoughts...

Why doesn't the JOY of obedience compensate for the PAIN of it?

That is the question i have been asking myself all week....I'm not sure that it is a complete sentence that makes actual sense, so let's hope the jumble of thoughts to follow help us come to some conclusions...let's back up; On Monday September 8th I know without a doubt that God was asking me to do something. After lots of tears and toiling i actually did it.

It wasn't fun. It wasn't glamorous. It wasn't easy. It WAS hard. It DID cost me. It made me cry.
but i did it.

this is the equation we have cooked up in our heads:

knowing what's right + doing it = good.
good= joy, happiness, giggles, jumping-in-daisy- moments etc.

HOWEVER
good doesn't always equal those things.
I know we all know James 1:2-4 but not even that brings comfort.
WHY?
I know, Know, KNOW that i did what i was supposed to do.
and i am glad knowing that, but the pain of doing it is still real. How do i deal with that?

Should i just pretend all is well? Should i smile and say i am fine, when really i am about to burst into tears? Yes, sometimes tears are not the right or appropriate answer, but what do i do with the pain? Why does something i know is right and good hurt so much?

"it's building character."

AWESOME! Please let me tell you that next time you are sitting in the mud of life crying out for answers. I KNOW it's building character, and i know someday i will look back and see 20/20 what God was doing and the purposes of Christ in my life won't be stopped by this little speed bump. But can anyone relate to just wanting to understand a little bit of the WHY?

Sometimes i feel like we as Christian Young People try so hard to "be ok" with our lives and have the picture perfect appearance, but for once can we be real with our feelings? Let's at least acknowledge that they are there. I am not saying that we should be lead by our feelings and emotions, if that was the case i would have said a big HECK NO to what i know in my HEART and HEAD that God was asking me to do. My feelings and emotions are actually the things that are in pain because of the actions of the heart and head.

are you tracking with me so far? I'm thinking as i type and re-reading as i go =)

here are the facts of my life this week:
I walked in obedience.
My feelings and emotions are in pain because of that obedience.
I know in my heart and head i did the right thing.
It still hurts.
WHY? that is really all i am asking. Why? Why does it have to hurt so bad?

and what is it with HOPE?
I hold on to the HOPE to which HE has called me.
I know my HOPE is in Him alone.
My HOPE is built on who He is, not only what He has done.

But how do i balance HOPE with real life? How do i HOPE for the right thing? HOPE is comforting, and something to hold on to, but what if I don't want to get my "hopes up"? It's now about balance. Balancing what i know about WHO Christ is AND the fact that He does what He says He will do. WOW, what an incredible God we serve! I love how i can look at the mess that is my life and see just that; a mess. But He looks at it and sees something beautiful!!! He sees the finished masterpiece, with all the puzzle pieces in the right places. Amazing.

i know that was a lot of rambling... and i'm strangely ok with not having a "packaged-nicely conclusion with a side of wit and humor" for you.

one thing is for sure about this week... i am learning more and more about who i am and what makes me tick. What makes me cry and why they do. I'm learning to love being in my skin, without trying to "fit the mold" of who everyone else is... i can be me, YOU are the one who has to decide if you are ok with who i am!

Floating for the first time...

...not me silly, i've done it a million times... but today i got to take Hosanna, Sarah and Elijah on their first Float on the Deschutes! Here are a few of the questions i had to answer BEFORE the float....

-what are we floating on?
-how does the boat fit in your car and be big enough for 2 people?
-are there fish?
-are there sharks?
-are there worms?
-are there whales?
-will we get stuck?
-what if we fall in the water?
-how deep is the deepest part?
-will we see any bugs?
-is the water cold?
-why do we have to wear our swimsuits if we aren't going swimming?
-what if the air goes out?
-how big is the river?
-where is the end of the river?
-is there a waterfall?
-will we die if we go over the waterfall(try explaining a Spillway to a 6 year old)?
-have you ever seen anyone go over the waterfall?

instead of uploading my 23 favorite floating pics... i opted for a slideshow...

23 years young...

i had an amazing birthday! THANKS TO ALL FOR THE Texts, voice-mails, comments, emails and LOVE!!! You can't really know how much it meant to me...

I had a great day full of surprises and fun here are the moments captured on my camera!

Lily, Scooter and i tampoline-ing!
Jump Lily!

Woo-Hoo!

Jumping with Scooter proved to be a little challenging!

but we had so much fun!

After laughing, giggling, and jumping to our hearts content we decided it was time for some serious girl business before church... time to paint the toes and fingers!

cheese!

Lily, thanks for hanging out with me on my birthday afternoon...

and keeping me 23 years YOUNG!!!!

it's offical...

After a year and a few months... of procrastination i finally have Oregon Plates... on the front. Due to a really tough nut-bolt-screw-nail thing that attaches the plate to the plate frame... i cannot for the life of me(or strong guys i know) get the back WA plate off.... so Oregon for the rear is in the window... help?

Screaming Optimist

The tears won't stop.


why doesn't the joy of knowing i am obeying what God said take away
the pain of what is happening?

march 8 2009.

Please don't give up.


Why is it that no matter how hard i try to go to sleep...
1am makes sense as the "right" bed-time?

why do i keep wanting to pick up my phone and talk for 3 hours?

how can my eyes keep crying? where do the tears come from?

why is yawning the worst thing ever?

the tears won't stop, yet i have a peace in my heart and a knowledge in my head that the
goodness and faithfulness of God is going to pull me through.
no matter what happens; HIS plans for me are good.


i have a feeling the 'beep' of an incoming text is going to make my heart jump.


i have a sudden and CRAZY longing to watch star wars.


i am determined to find a really great tree, climb it, take a picture of it and write all about it.


the tears won't stop... and my face is RED from crying so hard....
when i was little and sobbing, my dad would try and make me laugh
by asking why my face gets red when i cry.

I still don't know why it does, but it still does.


don't give up.


i am trying to be the screaming optimist.

my screaming optimist... i can hear your voice;
screaming the joys of the day and that the rain is coming!!!!
your laugh makes me smile...

and then the tears come. again.


until then. this is me: trusting Christ through tears of obedience.

Great and Mighty

Hold my heart, O God, keep me ever in Your will
There is joy within Your presence here and now
But better will
Is the the day that is to come
When Your full glory is revealed
I have long endured the trials of the age
But I will say
You are great and mighty God
Robed in majesty
You set us apart, You set us free
When You captured out hearts
You are great and mighty
So in You I will rejoice, make my life an offering
I'm enraptured by the mercies of my King
And I will sing
I will sing Your praise, I will sing Your praise
O name above all names
I will count the days until I see Your face
I will evermore proclaim

Random Road Trip

let it be known; I LOVE SURPRISES!!!! i especially love being IN on the surprise! My amazing Heidi and i love adventures. We also like documenting these adventures; recently however our work schedules do not allow for any of the above =(
no surprises.
no adventures.
no photos.
and a lot of no heidi time.

Something had to be done.

Yesterday i didn't have to work ALL day! perfect. i picked Heidi up and asked her one question, Do you want Mexican or Italian Food for dinner... i was really hoping she would say Italian and SHE DID!!! We hopped in my car and i started driving.

This the WOW! When Heidi figured out where i was taking her;

This is the cool picture of the day... not what i was intending, but i was also driving and shooting... the sign reads "Portland 57 miles"
We were really excited for our adventure to Portland!
And then dinner.... Old Spaghetti Factory... one of my all time favorite places to eat!
it's true...
tummy's satisfied.

We also went shopping, and did document it, but that was Heidi's camera... so check back for more on that later.

yum... The Bread of life #5

i hope my little moments of the Word are encouraging... i don't come close to writing with such conviction and life as it brings... that's why recently i have been more quiet with my thoughts and more just the Word.... YUM it's so good!!!!

Proverbs 1:2-4

"Their purpose is to teach people wisdom and discipline,
to help them understand the insights of the wise.
Their purpose is to teach people to live disciplined and successful lives,
to help them do what is right, just, and fair.
These proverbs will give insight to the simple,
knowledge and discernment to the young people."

I like to say, " a Proverb a day keeps bad decisions away."-- cheesy i know... true? so much so!

Bread of Life #4

Psalm 70:4
"But may all who search for you
be filled with joy and gladness in you.
May those who love your salvation
repeatedly shout, “God is great!”

smith rocks

like i said... i went hiking at Smith Rocks... it was glorious!!! i think i could spend 8 hours just walking around taking pictures there... however on Wednesday i was there to be a "serious" hiker... it's ok to laugh at that statement...so i didn't take as many pictures...

here are my favorite;

Jesse... guy in the picture... and i had a great time hiking misery ridge/monkey face.... if you want a great feeling of accomplishment; do that hike... and don't give up!!! the view from the top is incredible and the feeling of actually pressing on past the 9 million stairs you have to climb is awesome!

be glad in it

Psalm 118:24
"This is the day the LORD has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it."

In the last 3 days my world has been turned upside down. I have been challenged in my faith, mind-set, goals, hopes and i hiked Smith Rocks, which is a whole different kind of challenge. =)
Over and over in our christian lives we are taught that the Jeremiah 29:11 life is for us... and i totally believe it is. I stand on that promise that God does have a plan for me and a Hope and Future are mine, but sometimes I get so caught up in that hope and future i forget to live today. Maybe it's just me, but i get too caught up in my dreams, visions and goals that i don't live my moments well. The last three days feel like 3 years, and at the same time 3 seconds. Because i am a photographer i capture things in my head as visual images, right now i head is FULL of beautiful-scary moments from the last three days.... On Tuesday of this week i decided to take a risk. On Wednesday i hiked Smith Rocks. On Thursday i decided that instead of being scared of my risks and falling off rocks, i was going to REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT!

I know i sang the song a million times in Sunday school and Christian preschool. I also know that i have forgotten and taken for grated that verse and the song. Each day is a gift, each breath is a piece of tape holding that gift together, each giggle is a ribbon, each terrifying moment brings you closer to understanding that gift. Sometimes i forget that. Sometimes i want to rush through the gift and get to the other side. Sometimes i want the puzzle to just be done already! I want to live my gifts well. I want to walk them wisely. I want to get to the dream God has for me, but i also want to enjoy the unwrapping the present. I want to embrace the sunsets, and city lights from the top of Pilot Butte. I want to slow down and rejoice in it. I want to sing the song over and over and over.

I believe that as i walk, not run, but as i walk through each day and as i pray my way through the challenges God's dream and my dream will unfold. I'm sure it will be different than i imagine, it wouldn't be amazing if i had it all figured out. And so, i breath in deeply. I watch the stars, i take some risks because;

This is the day
this is the day,
that the Lord has made
that the Lord has made,
i will rejoice
i will rejoice,
and be glad in it
and be glad in it,
This is the day that the Lord has made i will rejoice and be glad in it.
this is the day
this is the day
that the Lord
has
made.

Bread of Life #3

Psalm 91:4
"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."

simply amazing.

Kent, Oregon

As we have previously established, i like to drive and i drive a lot. Last week as i was on one of my long drives... from Couer D Alene Lake Idaho to Bend.... long drive. I often drive through 'cute' towns and wish i had time to stop and take pictures. I finally decided that i was going to stop if i saw something i wanted to capture. I am so glad i did!!! I actually turned around to capture the old gas station and auto shop in Kent Oregon. I am pretty sure less than 100 people live in the sad little town on Highway 97 .... enjoy!

they're gettin' married...

so we took some pictures...

congrats you guys!

Bread of Life #2

Eat it up, like a piece of meat.
Soak in it, like a hot tub.
Revel in it, like a sunset.
Meditate on it, like when you are trying to decide what spend money on.
Think about it, like you think about the one you love.
Marvel at it, like a work of art.
Enjoy it, like a river float.
Don't forget it, like you would that one thing you forgot to buy.
Re-read it, like you've never read it before.
Pass it on, like those silly forwards.
Drink deeply, it's living water.
It is the bread of life.

Ephesians 2:10
"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus,
so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."

One Year Later!

August 14th 2007 was a big day for me. I was in Hood River/Mosier, i went to Mikes ice cream TWICE, and i also fell off The Pocket. The Pocket is a totally safe and fun way to beat the heat of August... you go, you jump, you enjoy the feeling of cold water all around you... and then you do it again! I never really got to do any of that on that crazy Tuesday last year... because i got really nervous... and instead of jumping confidently and embracing the scariness of the 30ft (approx.) leap... i hesitated and fell... tumbling down, hitting some rocks half way down and landing in the water head first... not so fun. My favorite line of the day was this, "what hurts?" well pretty much everything for the first 30 seconds... and then nothing.... except for my left foot when i bend it a certain way. 24 hours later i discovered i had a broken 3rd Metatarsal. After 6 weeks in a foot brace, a few weeks of crutches, and some great nicknames I was back to my normal self!

One Year Later I am in awe of all the things God has done in my life. That crazy Tuesday seems like lifetimes away, but at the same time the details will forever be etched in my memory. In order to commemorate such a fine milstone, i made a trip back to Hood River/Mosier and had a BLAST with my "family" (Dunagans and CCHR). To them;

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT THIS LAST YEAR!!! YOU ALL MEAN SO MUCH TO ME! I'M SO GLAD I WAS WITH YOU WHEN THIS SCARY DAY HAPPENED AND I'M SO BLESSED BY ALL THE LOVE AND ENCOURAGEMENT YOU SO FREELY GAVE ME ALONG THE WAY!!! I LOOK FORWARD TO MANY MORE VISITS TO MIKE'S AND AWESOME ''POCKET'' MEMORIES!

and now for the pictures....

I went to Mike's Ice Cream... twice =)

I went back to The Pocket.....

This is looking over the cliff from where i fell.
These are my feet hanging over the edge...
The cliff towering over me...
Happy One Year Later!

Check out my blog post from last september to see the diagram and pictures of the bruised foot!

Bread of Life #1

I love the word of God. The B-I-B-L-E yes! that's the book for me!!!! so i've decided that periodically in the next little i will have "the bread of life" moments on here... All it is, is the Word. Nothing long and super spiritual. Just the Word. Because there is POWER in it. Sometimes the world(and the church) don't need our ramblings about how we feel about a certain verse or chapter, we just need the verse or chapter. Let's take a break and just enjoy the Word, just like we would a really good meal. One of those meals that makes you sit back and slouch a little while you enjoy the after taste and full feeling.

~
Proverbs 13:12
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life."

thoughts from the road.

I like to drive. It just one of those random facts about who i am. I also happen to drive a lot. I bought my lovely Honda Passport on February 14th 2007(happy valentines day to me!) and it had approx. 89,000 miles on it. Today it has over 117,500... that's over 28,000 miles in about a year and a half! most of those mile spent by myself!!! I love long road trips, i love short-ish road trips, i like to drive. I like to think, laugh, listen, pray, dance, and sing while i drive. Yes, i did say dance. Ask Heidi... i can bust some rad moves while driving. I also like seeing things that make me laugh out loud, even though no one is around to hear it. for example but not limited to:

1. road names such as: Tweed Rd. Sagebrush Way. Bodacious Drive. and of course all the Market roads in Bend.

2. a cow. one, not two, not three. One random cow on the mountain pass.

3. motorcyclist with a helmet, but no face shield... I imagine small insects flying at your face at 55mph would not feel so good.

4. better yet, motorcyclist wearing a helmet, but a tank top and ripped jeans. Yes, his head will be saved, however the rest of his body will be shredded to pieces, if he happened into a wreck.

5. girl in bikini on the side of the road... standing on a snow bank attempting pictures under a waterfall. Can anyone say Hypothermia?

and last but not least

#6. woman standing on the side of the road wearing a sparkling(think tap dancing) hat, black t-shirt with an open back, holding a cardboard sign that says this, "$179,000 Waller Road." Did i mention that the lettering was glitter-paint? I'm not sure if she was trying to sell the road or house on the road..... hmmm not sure.

I also have become a fan of photography-while driving. It's a new art. The key is to keep watching where you are driving and just point the camera in the direction of the object you desire to capture and see what happens for example:

the small print says, "not a swear word."

ok so it's to small to read, but we've all seen the signs, "DEER"
and in small print "NEXT 3 MILES"
Will someone please explain to me how the deer instinctively know not to go further than 3 miles down this stretch of highway for fear of losing their life? Because for some reason, i don't see Bambi and his mom having this conversation;

Bambi, "Hey mom, can me and thumper go play chicken with those roaring, colorful, rather fast moving animals?"
Mama Dow, "Ok Babmi, you can go explore the wild and exciting road, where the automobiles play, but only within these 3 miles, because this is where they know and have been informed that we are. So beyond the 3 mile mark, they won't be thinking or looking out for us there. Please be careful. But have fun!"

Road Trip anyone?

Pancakes Anyone?

This is the coolest pancake i have ever seen in my entire life. Yes, it is a Frog Prince. Yes it is all one piece, and yes i did eat it. It was also very Yummy. Thank you Mr. Gilstrap!!!! My life is now closer to being complete, because i have experienced the world famous Gilstrap Frog Prince Pancake!!!!!

seriously people. Show me a cooler pancake, i dare you...