doing what i love...

My brother Ben took this while he was here and i just found it today(!);

One Cold Day

Today i went for a walk and froze my face taking these shots...

Totally worth it if you ask me!

Name your son Benjamin...

...you'll be glad you did.

Benjamin means "son of the right hand". I am not sure what exactly that means, but it sounds neat. In the Bible Benjamin was the 12th son of Jacob and was the "favorite son" after Joseph was sold out to Egypt. I know a few Benjamins. Three of the amazing Benjamins all have one thing in common... they are photographic geniuses!!!! (click on each name to see what i mean.)

#1 (and my favorite) - Benjamin Jacob Diacogiannis. Number 7 in the "D" family line up, I had the priveledge to be inthe room when little Ben was born. He has always been a rad little brother, and i think if you have to have a little brother this Benjamin is the one to have. He is fairly even tempered. He has the biggest servents heart of any 15 year old i know! He love's God and loves life. In the past 2 years "my" Ben has become a little brother after my own heart; he fell in love with photography!!! Click on his name and experience his blog and the beginnings of his photographic genius.

#2- Benjamin Edwards As i mentioned in my post regaurding the close of 2008... Ben is my photography "hero". I found out about his work long before i thought about moving to Bend, and when i found out the webiste i most visited for inpiration was in my "new" city, i was elated and couldn't wait to meet him in real life. Ben and his wife Lauren are 2 of the most kind people i know. They love the Lord and are not shy about bringing his love into their work. They take pictures that caprute my attention for hours. They live with a passion to see lives changed. They have a super cute son named Parker... who someday will be my good friend. =)

And so you see, you should indeed name your son Benjamin, but please refrain from calling him Benny.... most likely he won't like it. Ben, Jamin', benji. Ben, B-E-N-bennen, B, BenHamen or other variations are ok, but not Benny.

Starbucks; Quote #17

The world bursts at the seams with people ready to tell you you’re not good enough. On occasion, some may be correct. But do not do their work for them. Seek any job; ask anyone out; pursue any goal. Don’t take it personally when they say “no” — they may not be smart enough to say “yes”.

– Keith Olbermann

Post Script (P.S.)

Oh how i love the comments that the last post has generated!!!!

This is my P.S. to that post.

Although i am single and most defiantly am waiting/longing for "Mr. Wonderful" the previous post was not only thought up in the mind of a 23-year-old who desires to have a man by her side. It was written by a 23-year-old who desires to see real change in the World around her....a change not by any political party or group of people who have their panties in a ruffle, but change that is inflamed by the Word of God and HIS desire to be loved, see others loved and serve the World. Love is a central key to change. And more specifically unselfish love. Think about real change. Perhaps change you have seen or dreamed of. If it is change only God can bring about then it is fueled by His love for the World and desire to see all people come to a knowledge of Him. If it is change people can bring about... on a large scale it needs to be fueled by a love that has no selfish ambition.

I will not sit here and pretend that the previous post came solely from a place of "world change". But please read it again. Please don't read it through lens of a girl desiring a man. I wrote it as that girl, but also because of SO MANY MORE THINGS going on in my life... and RISK is involved in every step. I once heard it said like this; Faith is jumping over a river. It takes a small amount of faith to jump over a 10ft. stream of rushing water. Risk is still involved, yet on a small scale. It takes a larger amount of faith to jump over a 15ft. stream of rushing water. More risk is involved. It takes a lot of faith to jump over a 25ft. stream of rushing water. There is a lot of risk in even thinking about jumping 25ft. However it's faith in this situation is not just believing that God will catch you, build a bridge or give you wings. It's believing that you are actually hearing the voice of God and you believe in your self to actually make that jump.

Peter did not start sinking because he didn't believe Jesus. Jesus was doing just fine. Jesus had in fact told Peter to walk to him on water, so in fact Jesus believed that Peter could do it. Peter didn't believe Peter could do it.

My hope is that we all would be in the Word, and listening to the voice of God, so that when we have waited. When we have prayed. When we have heard the voice of God pointing us in a direction. We would indeed be ready to take the risk and jump... and then change would come.

**the C.S. Lewis book is The Four Loves**

C.S. Lewis... on Love

This right here beautifully sums up a lot of things i have been mulling over the last couple weeks:

"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."
-C.S. Lewis

It's all about RISK people. What kind of risk are you willing to take to possibly love and be loved by another person? Is it worth it to stay safe inside yourself and feelings? Or to take a risk, with the possibility of failing or hurting?

"Are you afraid to be the only one to fail?
What's worse, to try and fail or never live to tell the tail?...
...When did the skeptics get to define you?"
-Elliot

Those are the lyrics to a song that is fast one the heels of my top favorite 5! They have been haunting me for about 3 weeks. What RISK am i willing to take to possibly live a dream? Should I just continue to sit and "wait" for life to hit me in the face or take action and embrace the life that God has given me? Should I let the opportunities to see something miraculous happen pass me by? If I let them fly by with the wind that won't stop blowing I know I will wonder and over-analyze "why" or "what if" until I fall asleep.

It's all about RISK people. What RISK are we going to take to see life, real life... and really if I fail... I know that God is still working to make me look more like Jesus, and perhaps the mud I attain from failing(falling) will actually make me more beautiful!
**Thanks and shout out to my good friend Elizabeth Fischer for reminding me of this quote from C.S. Lewis.**

Hello, My name is 2009 and I'm full of Wonder!

*Please tell me the title at least made you smile a little tiny smile?*

2008 was a year to remember for sure. So many good times. I'm sure there are many moments i wish i could remember better; and one's i know i will never forget. As i ponder the last year there are many was i could write this blog, by the number or events or hardships. I could make some really great spiritual allegory or try and paint a picture. I could upload a thousand photos from the last year or one that i think captures the whole year. I could just tell you to go to my blog archives and start with January 2008 and work your way forward. I'm still pondering, so please forgive what may come as a random jumble of moments as i remember them.

Favorite Photos of 2008(6 of 9000+ taken in '08):

January 2008:April 2008:May 2008:June 2008:December 2008:Yes i really did take over 9,000 photos in 2008!!! I know I'm a little shutter happy.

The following is(sort of) what i wrote for my family's Christmas Newsletter and sums up my life nicely:

This year has been full of so many joys, surprises, pleasures and excitement I could fill a book! The faithfulness of God was exactly what got me through the first year of living in Bend, and I am so grateful that he never let’s go of us when we surrender to Him completely!!!

Ministry. I am still volunteering with the High School ministry at Westside Church and weekly have moments that make me want to JUMP, DANCE and SCREAM: This IS what I was made for! I counseled cabins at both Winter and Summer Camp, I mentor a few girls one on one and spend lots of time letting my creative ideasrun wild with themselves. My goal: to see young people follow hard after God and His purpose for them on the earth. Few things bring me more joy then to see a student “get it”.

Friends. Oh, how the Lord has blessed me with incredible friends this year!!! I remember the lonely times, but I praise the Lord that those moments are fewer then before! Boating, coffee, hiking, coffee, wake boarding, coffee, games, coffee, laughing and more coffee. I love that each of those things reminds me of great times with friends. Watching my brother fall in love with
Heidi was something i will never forget! Watching Jenna walk in Faith as she gets ready to head to Botswana is something that makes my heart dance. Watching Stu fall into real life with Jesus brings tears to my eyes. Watching lots of friends DO what they were made for makes me want to shout for joy and smile lots! Seeing Paige and Whitney head off to college made me a proud "big sis". Sitting at Backporch with (Joann, Mekenzie,Katie, Stephenie,Lisa, Jessie, Karlee, Jordan, Michelle, Cliff, Casey,Dave, Majell, Jenna,Bo...)Did i leave anyone out? Basically Backporch Coffee+(amazing)Friends= LIFE!

Work. After a year and a half at Red Robin, I took off my blue polo and khaki pants. I put away my apron and birthday songs. I picked up a blanket, binky and a BEAUTIFUL baby boy named Seven! Becoming a nanny has been one of the biggest blessings of my Fall. Seven and I
have lots of fun together. He is one of the sweetest-tempered babies EVER! We like to go for walks, read books and play pee-a-boo.

I have also had the pleasure and blessing to start developing my photography business here in Bend. God totally blessed my socks off with a great Photography mento who is incredibly gifted and fun to learn from. Benjamin Edwards finally relented from me web stocking him and let me come along to a few shoots!!! I feel so blessed with the learning and with the business! My goal is to expand, get a website, and take double the pictures in 2009!

And so to answer my wake up call this morning(aka the title) I say this: BRING IT ON! I am thrilled and full of Hope for this year i have ahead of me. I can't wait to see God act on His Word. I can't wait to hear His whisper. I am anticipating His challenges. I eagerly look forward. I stand on my tip-toes and crane my neck to see what's ahead. Oh, the moments that are waiting to be captured. Oh the stories that await to be walked out. Oh the dances of Joy that await and the tears of growth wait to burst out! Bring on the Wonder. Bring on the year.

First Comes Love...

-Gregg & Heidi-

first comes love...
...then comes marriage; June 14 2009!!!

Eric and Melissa

'til the season for lots of photos...

Lots and lots of photos... here's a quick peek....

Heidi and I on Thanksgiving!!! She and Gregg surprised me and came down to Silverton with the Family! I was so excited to see them... especially excited to admire the BLING on Heidi's finger.... that's right; it's official: My brother is going to marry my Best Friend!

Carissa came back to Bend with me after Thanksgiving and we went Ice Skating with Stacia!

I took Carissa back up to Lynden so she could prepare to fly back to Argentina and had a lot of fun jammed into 2 days! Including but not limited to:

Woods Coffee with Elijah! Hooray for Coffee and Connect Four!Christmas Tree Hunting with my Family!

Josiah looks so excited to be helping chop that tree down...Jacob finishing up the other tree....5 of 6 Greek Princesses.... Lindsey we miss you!

I had WAY TOO MUCH FUN... taking pics of myself in the ornaments...
This is the best i could to for Prince Charming this year... sorry folks, the real thing is on his way... and in the mean time i will continue to pose with crazy fake guys.Seven and i continue to have a blast hanging out with each other... his mom calls me his "Best Friend".... i don't mind...

I am training him to be in love with Nikon at an early age....

Eric and Linday let me take Christmas Photos for them...

Sunsets from Seven's backporch are AMAZING....

There you have it folks... a quick peek at my life the last month!!!

Seven and I continue to have lots of fun together...

right now our "challenge" is learning to scoot on his tummy!

...sorry about the poor quality... it's from my phone.

Nap Time Tears

Seven is in his crib right now... crying and crying.

Nap time starts with singing and rocking in dark room... and then i gently lay him in his bed, and the peaceful child starts crying his little heart out. I softly tell him it's ok and walk out of the room. The crying continues... 1 minute, 3 minutes, 5 minutes.... after 10 minutes i go back in and wind up the lullaby box, find his Binky and rub his tummy. He stops crying and grabs my hand as if i am leaving forever, not wanting me to walk out of the room. I slowly pull my fingers away and sneek out. The crying starts again. 3minutes, 5, minutes, 12 minutes... i head back in. The tears are streaming down his face and i pick him up. The binky is somehow at the other end of the crib. I put it in his mouth and walk around the room singing softly "Jesus loves me this i know..." he quiets down and softly whimpers behind the soothing rubber in his mouth. Seven reaches up and grabs my hair... his eyes wonder if the tight grip on my long locks will keep me there longer. As i lay him back down under the soft brown blanket, he spits out the Binky and the crying starts again. It's a tired cry. He didn't sleep much last night and his morning nap was shorter than normal. 5 minutes... the crying has stopped. All i can hear is the lullaby box, a soft whimper, and occasional sigh.

I remember so many times with all my younger siblings the lessons about nap time when they are little. Crying is ok. They aren't hungry, they aren't wet, they are tired and need to sleep. They need rest. I remember with Elijah it was so hard to let him cry. He was so little and cute and wonderful.... but the crying at nap time basically ripes out ones heart!!!! All he wanted was to be held. All Seven wants is to be held. He wants to know that i am right there. To feel safe in the arms of one who loves you so much! My mom taught me the art of letting the little one cry. Wait a few minutes and go back in... each time let the clock tick longer. It's so hard. I just want to rock him until he falls asleep. I want to sing him Jesus Loves Me 500 times while he coos and sniffles. But he is ok. He is safe, fed, dry and tired. Eventually he will fall asleep.

I was reading in Matthew 15 today... the story about the woman who comes to Jesus, because her daughter is tormented by a demon. 3 times Jesus ignores or rebukes her. She is a gentile. However her faith went down in history as an example of some who didn't stop asking, who didn't stop crying out for a miracle.

I have been pondering her story all day, and while i was rocking Seven it all came together in my mind. I cry out to Jesus on a regular basis. I hold on to His hand as if i will never hold it again. I reach out for a hug as if it's the last hug i will have from my savior. I cry out. I am not in danger. I am not hungry. I am not sitting in a puddle of life. I am tired and i just want to be held by the One who holds me best. I just want Him to sing over me. I want Him to tell me "it's ok" 500 times over. I don't want Jesus to leave my room. And so i cry out.

Is the cry in Faith that He will answer or in fear that He won't? For me it depends on the day. It depends on where my perspective is. I would like to think that the prayers of Faith, like the woman are more common than the cries of Nap Time Tears... i'm not sure what the ratio is. probably close to 50/50. He is always here. He always hears my cries. I think, however that He is listening for Faith not Fear. He is listening for belief that He is who he has proven time and time again He. He has never left me in the dark, hungry, scared, and wet. NEVER. He has never left me alone and not returned to remind me that He is just a moment away. Somtimes i turn away and forget He is there, but He has never left me.

The house is quiet. All i hear is the clicking of the keys as my fingers fumble across the black keyboard, and the tic-tock of the clock in the kitchen. Seven is asleep. The lullaby box is silent. My heart is stirred up; Faith is rising to the surface of my every thought. The picture of Matthew 15:21-28 is so real in my mind. I can see the woman, her eyes pleading, tears streaming down her flushed cheeks, her hair is a wild mess from the search for the One who could free her daughter. Jesus is there. His back is turned towards her. His face is deep in thought. He knows her face without looking. He seems to be waiting for something, either that or pondering what the next few moments hold. The 12 look on in frustration and annoyance. Her last request hangs in the air... a cry of faith and determination to see a miracle that day...

"Woman," Jesus said to her, "your faith is great. Your request is granted."
And her daughter was healed instantly."

I hope to some day sit with that woman and her the joy that must have flooded her heart when she heard those words. I wonder the laughter that must have filled her house that night. I think about her daughter, sleeping peacefully because the tormentor was gone. I think about her faith. Great faith. She has no name, but her Nap Time Tears were full of Faith, and she cried out expecting the answer she wanted. She didn't let anything stand in her way... and she heard those words from the One who can speak life, breathe truth and walk in Power.

"Your faith is great."

One Life.

I have been told i few things recently...

1. that i have a lot of passion.
2. that i have a lot of energy.
3. that i really seem to love life.

I would venture to say that those statements are true! I do have a lot of passion. I throw myself into whatever is at hand. I'm not a fan of doing something i don't want to do... because i probably won't do it well. Things i love and do with passion:

Oneighty I absolutely LOVE the youth ministry at Westside. This fall we as a ministry have walked through a lot of changes, in structure, in leadership and in students. From my perspective we have walked out these changes incredibly well!! I'm blessed every time i leave that building, wednesday or sunday! When i step into that room it's game time for me. I pour my passion into every person i talk to... I pour out my passion in worship... and last week when i had the honor to speak... i poured my passion out!!! Yes i live my passion on my sleeve. I'm ok with being a little different because of my passion. I would rather live this one life with passion than float through and wonder where my passion was.

Photography. Taking pictures doesn't seem like much of a task. A large population of people have cameras and even digital SLRs... so the "need" for a professional photographer seems to be losing it's spot... however somepeople were made for life behind the lens. I was. Whenever i have the joy of doing shoot my heart beats almost out of my chest and i want to jump and scream!!! I LOVE capturing moments and the people enjoying the moments. The other day i realized i have over 15,000 pictures on my computer!!!!!! People always say i should delete some... i do... but for every 5 i delete there are 20 that i love! I want to capture as many moments as possible in this one life. I know i wont' be able to take them with me into Heaven, but i hope so of my favorites will still be remembered in my heart.... and i have a secret hope that there is a HUGE art gallery in Heaven...and that some of the moments i campture will be there on canvas and just as real as they are here.

My job. Whatever it is. Red Robin. Seven. NCCTK. Timekeepers. Woods Coffee. I hope that each of the places i have had the blessing of working remember me as a person of passion who let it ooze out at work. Like i said i don't like doing things i don't want to do because i don't do it well. I have had the blessing of being able to have jobs that i LOVE... so of course my passion came out.... in the form of making a latte, changing a diaper, serving bottomless fries and loving on 4-6th graders.

Now regarding my energy. I only have one idea for where it comes from; Holy Spirit. Seriously. I know that Energy is not on any Spiritual Gifts test you will ever see, but i honestly believe that God knew i would need intense amounts of energy for the things he was/is lining up for my life... so i got a little extra...and it keeps coming. I'm so blessed by it. I know i couldn't do a lot of the things i have without the energy God has given me...or rather it wouldn't have been done will. I'm sorry if my energy messes up your peaceful day...or if it comes out loud...or if i seem ADHD... i really don't mean to be louder than "normal" or distracted... it's just an energy thing. I'll give you grace for that crazy thing you do if you give my energy some grace....i'm really not trying to run over anyone with it.... there's just a lot i want to see, do, say, smell, feel and places to go!!!!

That brings us to the last one. I love my life. I really do!!!! I have bad days. Please believe me on that one. I have days that i would rather crawl back in bed and wait for the next one to start. I cry. I actually feel pain. I'm not always bouncing off the walls, but i honestly LOVE my life. I told someone today that i only have one chance at this life here on earth and i am going to live it up. It's true. I have One Life. One moment. One hour. And i am going to live it up in the most fun, godly, crazy, adventerous way i know how.

This is a little quote about myself i have on Facebook:

i'm a little girl stuck in a 23 year old body, trying to leave a fingerprint on the world around me. my favorite color is purple and i like green apples.

it's true. More often than not, i forget that i am really 23. Sometimes i feel 6. Sometimes i feel 27. Sometimes i feel 12. and Sometimes 16. I want to live this One Life with passion, energy and love every moment of it!!!! I want to leave a fingerprint on everyone i meet and everywhere i go. I don't want to miss one thing that God has for me here.

oh and my favorite color is purple, i like green apples, i have a weird liking for frogs, i don't own a pair of designer jeans, coffee was invented just for me, and i like doing laundry.

How is your One Life going?

Hanging out with Seven!

At the beginning of October i started a new job; i am now a "professional" nanny! Seven is his name...being super chill is his game! He is seriously one of the most laid back babies i've ever encountered!!! He smiles a lot, has the cutest giggle and is a rolling machine!!!! We hang out 3 days a week from Sunrise to Sunset! I love it!!!

so with out further hoopla.... this is Seven.....

Live Your Moments Well

"By this time tomorrow, today will be the past.
So what you do today will be the past that shaped the future."
-Greg Kooistra

Jillian Senior Sneak Peek

Here is a little sneak peek at what i LOVE LOVE LOVE to do... Senior Shoots!!!!
Jillian is Rad... and we had a ton of fun downtown today!!!!!