Sunday, June 29, 2008

Sun, Boats, Wakes, Sets, Lightning!

Yesterday was a day for the books or blogs... or something! I went boating at Lake Billy Chinook with some great friends. We all enjoyed a full day of sun-bathing, wake-boarding, swimming, waterfall-gazing and eating junk food!!! i'll let the pics tell the rest of the stories!

let's start with these amazing people. this is Eric and Lindsay.
Dane started the wake-boarding off nicely...

Then Nicolette...

And then it was my turn... now please be gracious with my form and lack of trickery. This was the first time i have tried to wake board in 5 years!
I got up!!!!After my last run, my arms and legs were so tired i could hardly climb back in the boat... I collapsed on the back, still smiling, but totally drained of all energy. PS- i am feeling it today!

Tara was a pro...

Then came Eric. Perhaps it was because i have only seen this sort of thing in my imagination...or perhaps it was the fact that i am still learning... or maybe it was due to my lack of wake-boarding knowledge... it doesn't really matter. Eric is a Master of the wake. check it;
Not sure if you can tell, but Eric is jumping the logs...

Like i said... Eric is the wake Master!
I LOVE WATERFALLS!!!! so needless to say my heart was dancing when we came around the corner to this lovely view...
We set anchor and made the trek up to the fall... it was SO beautiful, however i couldn't bring my camera, because of the swim to get to shore... bum deal.

"my" Jenna Kay and me... lovin the summer sun...
it was hot...

incredible view of the mountain...
Note to all my Washington friends and family; Please inform me if i am incorrect, but i have never seen anything like this in any lake in WA EVER! This my friends is a "lake potty" if you will. Basically a floating metal box that you can pull up to and answer nature's call.
I was pretty content with my day when we returned to Bend. I had successfully wake-boarded. My tan was darker and in some places red-er. The lake was beautiful, the mountain and waterfall made me just want to do nothing but live in a tent all summer. Hanging out with quality people all day was a huge blessing and i so i was satisfied with my June 28th. I didn't really think it could get better yet it did... x2!!! Please enjoy this sunset;

I couldn't get any great pics, but after the sun went down the lightning came out to play...and play it did.. for over 2 hours!!! It was better than the Fourth of July. No rain. I couldn't hear the thunder. Just light. Bright white bolts, breaking the darkness in half!!! Amazing.
Of course the lightning reminded me of one of my favorite Psalms...

Psalm 97:1-6

The LORD reigns, let the earth be glad;
let the distant shores rejoice.
Clouds and thick darkness surround him;
righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne.
Fire goes before him
and consumes his foes on every side.
His lightning lights up the world;
the earth sees and trembles.
The mountains melt like wax before the LORD,
before the Lord of all the earth
The heavens proclaim his righteousness,
and all the peoples see his glory.

Like i said.. it was a day for the books.. or in this case the blogs. Thanks for all the fun memories, all who were there. And all who were not... let's make sure the summer doesn't end without lots more boating blogs and pics, stories and laughs!!!!

Friday, June 27, 2008


Jonah has always been one of my favorites. I think because he is so raw. So understandable. So stinkin human. Maybe it's just me, but i can relate to this guy for some reason...And today his lovely little book was in our devotional reading here are the little bulletin points that i wrote in my journal;

-Jonah gets a word for a bunch of mean folks and decides that he doesn't want to visit them, so hide and seek with God sounds better. FYI to jonah: God always wins!

-The sailor bunch vow to follow God after seeing his great power in the storm ending as soon as they throw jonah over. 

-Jonah gets swallowed by a big fish. A Big Fish. He prays for 3 days and then gets spit up by this big fish... he heads to Nineveh.

- the WHOLE city of Nineveh repents(sackcloth and ashes) and fasts! Not even the animals were allowed to eat or drink!!! 

- Jonah gets a little selfish, loses perspective, and is set on being right. He climbs a hill to watch what will happen.

-God shows up and shows jonah His heart for lost people.

Last few verses of the book;

"10 Then the Lord said, “You feel sorry about the plant, though you did nothing to put it there. It came quickly and died quickly. 11 But Nineveh has more than 120,000 people living in spiritual darkness, not to mention all the animals. Shouldn’t I feel sorry for such a great city?”"

i have clearly i added the emphasis in that quote, but that thought just jumped off my page and sat in my lap. I live in a city just a tad bit smaller than Nineveh, but the thought is the same "living in Spiritual Darkness."

Isaiah 40:28 
"Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom."

this is what i want to say to my city Bend;
HEY! YOU ARE SLEEPING, LIVING IN SPIRITUAL DARKNESS! HAVE YOU NOT HEARD? THE LORD IS IS IS IS IS the only, amazing, loving, kind, gracious EVERLASTING GOD!!! HE WILL NOT GROW TIRED AND WEARY.... he's waiting for you. HE IS pursuing you. HOW long will you turn your head from the Sunset that displays his majesty? How long will you deny the breeze he sends to refresh you? How long will you be lulled to sleep my the song of the enemy? WAKE UP!!! Turn to God and receive his GRACE and MERCY!

Friday, June 20, 2008

being raw

BEWARE the following post is me, being raw.

Recently i have been having a really hard time putting the thoughts in my head into words that make sense. I feel like when i am trying to express my self all i am saying is "blah blah blah". This is such a frustrating place to be for many reasons. for example, i can't express my extreme gratitude to my amazing friend Heidi for letting me invade her space for the last 3 weeks, I can't tell Jenna how much i appreciate her love for me and my wining about not having a place and not being settled, i can't express to my lovely family how much i love them, or my dear High Schoolers how much i believe in them! And so here i am, i had a great moment with Jesus this morning and would like to try and express it. Please be gracious with me.

Many have said this is the year of breakthrough and every time i hear it i want to believe it, but can't. I couldn't see what i needed breakthrough in so i couldn't see breakthrough. In the midst of being a wondering house-hunter and random job schedule, i couldn't find my feet. I couldn't find my roots. I felt totally uprooted and drifting. Not in a "oh my i've lost my faith" sort of way, in a where am I? Where is my passion and drive hiding? So many questions have been going through my head. Why? When? How? Who?
In the last month I feel like i've grown. I feel like my faith has been challenged. I have felt the attacks and i have stood... sometimes i just fell to my knees, but really my heart has been lost in the wonder of where God is in the mess of my life. I know he is here. i could feel his touch and saw his hand provide. I knew he was near, but the longing to sit and talk with him was so strong. I couldn't hear his voice clearly. I needed answers and all i could hear was, "believe me. trust me. wait on me."
this afternoon however i received some breakthrough. It came in the strangest way. I was laying in the sun at Drake Park, just loving my day and reading The Bait of Satan by John Bevere. It's a great book about unforgiveness. I have always felt like i had a handle on forgiveness. I try to be a forgiving person and not hold offence from people. In the chapter i was reading today it was talking about the life of Joseph(my favorite) and this little paragraph woke me up;
"Perhaps when Joseph had his dream he saw them as a confirmation of the favor on his life. He has not yet learned that authority is given to serve, not to set you apart. Often in these training periods we focus on the impossibility of our circumstances instead of the greatness of God. As a result we are discouraged and need to blame someone, so we look for the one we feel is responsible for our despair. When we face the fact that God could have-and didn't- we often blame him."

When i first read this i was thinking that's nice, but there is no one to blame in my situation except me. I don't blame God. Right as the thought came into my head the Holy Spirit said read it again. So i did. And again. I did. My heart melted. The tears came. I KNOW that God spoke to me a few years ago about who i would be and where i would go. I Believed the promise. I stepped out in faith. I walked through the fire, and YET what was spoken and promised was not happening, in fact the vision of who i was and where i was going had become blurry like a painting that had been sitting in the sun and faded. My idea of how the promise would happen and how the vision would be fulfilled had not even come close to happening so in my heart i blamed Him. The One who had been the most faithful. The one who had loved the promise more than me. The one who painted the picture. Instead of taking care of the vision and framing it inside His timing and ways i put it out there for others to laugh at and mock. I shared my dream carelessly. I let it sit unprotected in the sun and let the color fade and i blamed Him.

"Absolutely no man, woman, child, or devil can ever get you out of the will of God! No one but God holds your destiny."
-Bait of Satan
I lost sight of this. I let my circumstances dictate how i believed God was. I never lost my faith in who He is, but i blamed him for giving me a dream and then not fulfilling it, when the whole time he has been keeping it, waiting for me to believe him for His timing and purpose in it. I was trying to put his ways in my box.
You are probably wondering why i am sharing this with you and where the breakthrough is. I share this so we can examine our hearts. We may be great at forgiving people and not holding offence against them, but watch out the little lies will try and trip you up in your thoughts about the One who loves you the most. I never thought i blamed God, but i did. In situations that don't make sense i think we just blame him without realizing it. We need someone to be responsible for what's going on and since i don't have control and neither do the people in my life, i blame him for not working inside my box.
The breakthrough is this; Romans 8:1-2 "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death."
Praise the Lord! i can approach the throne of grace and receive forgiveness, and walk in wholeness as a chosen set free daughter of the king. I can pick up the vision he gave me and ask him to help me re-paint the faded parts. I can frame it in his timing and purpose. I can believe again for big things. I can live by grace and love that he pours out on me.

Monday, June 09, 2008

Scary Story and life update

hey blogging world!
thanks for checking back; my life is in a constant state of transition right now, so blogging is not hot on my to do list. Tonight however, i am awake and unwinding from work so i shall fill you in on life a little bit. I know it has taken me way to long to actually get around to writing out my scariest story and so we shall start with that.

Scary Story
there i was just driving along, enjoying the full moon, worshiping with the ipod, Jesus in my front seat and happily approaching the end of the Mount Hood/Blue Box pass. In the last year i have driven highway 26 approximately 35 times, and many of those times at night, so this time was no different to me. I had just enjoyed a long weekend up in WA with my family and was ready to get back home to Bend.

The occasional semi-truck passed me heading to Portland, but I hadn't seen a car heading east since Sandy and assumed i probably wouldn't for a while. So there i was rocking out to something amazing when all of a sudden my rear-view mirror is filled with the bright lights of a truck. I glanced at my speedometer and realized i was going 60mph and we were still on the S curves on Blue Box. Apparently someone was in a hurry, because they stayed right behind me as i accelerated to hopefully give them some space. However when i was flying around the corners at 70+ mph i realized this was not fun and not safe; who knows what deer, cow, horse, or small rodent was around the next corner! I slowed down a bit as to avoid disaster but not to much as to upset the person in such a hurry behind me. Finally we came to a spot in the road with a passing lane and i gladly gave the trucker room to pass me and head off into the night.... or so i thought.

A few miles had passed and i saw a sign for Warm Springs; a small town that puts a smile on my face and marks the start of my favorite part of the drive; the High Desert! The rocks and canyons that glow orange in the light of a full moon( i told you i've done the drive a few times). All of a sudden the red brake lights of the moments before speeding truck interrupted my thoughts and i wondered why we were slowing down. Was there something in the road? Was he over heating? I inched over to the left lane to see what i could see, and all that i could see was the lights of on coming trucks and cars. Hmmm i thought perhaps something is wrong with the truck. I slowed down and came to a stop about 20 feet behind the truck. My music was still blaring Jeremy Camp's song I Wait For the Lord and i tapped on the stirring wheel hoping the delay wouldn't affect me. I sat there singing along and not really thinking about anything, until the man from the truck jumped out and came towards my car. He started by whacking the hood of my car and shaking his fist as he yelled profanities, he then approached my window. I checked the locks and swallowed hard. I wasn't sure what to do. By this time there was a car behind me and oncoming traffic roaring by. The man from the truck slammed his hand on my window and yelled some more. thankfully my music was loud so the swearing was a little muted, but the words hit me like pebbles piercing a calm lake. What had i done to make him so mad? Why is he yelling at me? What did i do? As he hit the window one more time i felt my body shake and the tears stinging the back of my eyes. He stomped back to his truck and was gone in a flash. I started driving, but my hands were shaking and the tears were flowing. Soon i was sobbing and crying. Between wiping tears and trying to drive i prayed and then cried some more. I grabbed my cell phone, but i was out of range. i knew the closer i got to Warm Springs the closer i got to being able to call my mom. So on i drove, Jesus by my side, tears that wouldn't stop and these words steaming out of my ipod; "this is where i belong in your arms holding tight, this is where i belong when i'm scared..." Not even kidding it was like the Holy Spirit jumped into my ipod that had been set to shuffle and said, play this song! What a blessing and awesome reminder of who was with me the whole time!!!

When i finally had some reception i called my mom; after a failed attempt of her only hearing her sobbing daughter say, "mom? i'm ok, but..." before it cut out i was able to explain to her what happened and how to pray!!! She was very relived when i told that story and that i wasn't in a ditch somewhere in a smashed car.

I made it home safe and sound, was completely exhausted in every way and ended up a little sick for 3 days but i praise the Lord for keeping me safe and for the other cars on the road!

well now that this is long...and its almost midnight; i will write the life update part of this post soon enough... but for now, i have to get up in 6.5 hours.

I love you all, my faithful blog readers. Live for eternity. Seize every moment. Be real. Be Honest. Smile just 'cause and love people well!!!!