writing a blog...

So here i sit. 11:15pm Thursday February 28th. Happy Leap Year by the way! Writing a blog.

Tonight at emerge the basis of the message was carefully and nicely written/spoken from a comment that a friend made about blogging. So therefore the message not only successfully challenged the way we think as far as life, faith and truth; it also challenged the way we write a blog. I had a lovely conversation with two of my blogging friends(check out Bo and Jessica in my links) after the message and told them about a blog i wrote a while back that i soon deleted after writing, because it was written out of Anger not Love. This of course made them curious... well lucky for them and you; i actually saved the deleted blog on my computer! So after some thought and re-writing. I have decided that the content is actually really great, and not morally wrong... without further ado:

Honesty and Authenticity: the re-write!

"Thank you for choosing Character To-Go what can i get for you today?"
"I would like some Honesty with a side of Authenticity!"

If there was a restaurant type of place that you could go and order Character traits... this is for sure what i would order.... However this would be my order for some people i know.... and for myself i would get some Patience and Wisdom.

Why Honesty? Why Authenticity?

hon·es·ty –noun
1. the quality or fact of being honest; uprightness and fairness.
2. truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness.
3. freedom from deceit or fraud.

au·then·tic·i·ty -noun
1. The quality or condition of being authentic, trustworthy, or genuine.

Honesty is the #1 quality i look for in friends. In light of this i try and be a very honest person. My name means; Speaker of Truth. Way to go Papa and Mama... thanks for the VERY cool name! It really helps me to think about who i am and what i say. Not only in the way i talk and the content of what i say, but how i live. I try so SO SOO stinking hard to be honest and real in every situation. I am Cassie. You get what ya see when you're around me. I am not going to pretend with you. I am not going to pretend i am someone i am not. I am not going to act a certain way so you like me. I am not going to jump through hoops in order to meet some social status quo. NO WAY. I won't. I am me. Cassie. The crazy girl who runs hard after the purpose of God. I am not pretending. I'm not trying to be "super spiritual". I AM WHAT YOU SEE!! I WON"T FAKE IT! i won't.

So Please stop. Stop trying. Stop pretending with me! Stop trying so hard. Stop being so fake. Be who God created you to be. If you have to stop for too long and think about what that means... than get off your butt and go figure it out; BY YOURSELF! Stop letting the people you "hang out with" define who you are. Stop letting the way you dress and do your hair be who you are. Stop pretending you like me to my face and 2 minutes later ignore the fact that i am standing RIGHT THERE while you are planning your "hangout" and obviously are trying to not not invite me, but let's be real; you didn't want to invite me so talking in hushed tones will for sure make up for the fact that i can hear every word. Seriously people! I don't care that much if i am in your social circle! I don't! Please stop pretending. Be real. I would rather you ignore me all together out in the open. it would HONESTLY feel better.

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Lord of Lords by Hillsongs Australia

Beholding your beauty is all I long for
To worship You Jesus is my soul's desire
For this very heart you've shaped for your pleasure
The purpose to lift your name high

Hear and surrender in pure adoration
I enter your courts with an offering of praise
I am Your servant come to bring you glory
As is fit for the work of your hands

Chorus:
Now unto the lamb who sits on the throne
Be glory and honor and praise
All of creation resounds with the song
Worship and praise him the Lord of Lords

Verse 2:
The spirit now living and dwelling within me
Keep my eyes fixed ever upon Jesus' face
Let not the things of this world ever sway me
I'll run 'till I finish the race

This song perfectly states how i feel. "i'll run till i finish the race." I will. I will run it in Honesty. I will seek out Wisdom I will walk in Patience (look it up in the dictionary and try it on for size).

I hope i didn't step on toes.... it really is WAY nicer than when i first wrote it.

I have come to the conclusion though that it is better to say some things in honesty and with real heart than to leave lots of real things un-said. Risky? oh yes. Hard? you bet. But something i also learned tonight at emerge was to not let the history of my life put conclusions on who i am... for example; in 7th grade i was at a Young Life Summer camp and one of my leaders looked at me straight in the eye and said, "Sometime you should just learn to shut up and not talk." This has stuck with me since then... what is that like 10 years? CRAZY! I can't even believe it, but in this situation i can't just shut up. I won't anymore.

Now please hear me out. I WILL choose my words and i will try VERY hard to make sure i sift what i write and say through the Jesus filter(hence the re-written blog); but i won't stay silent. I WON'T let things that need to be said go un-said. So after you have processed this blog. and re-read the re-written part one or two times... this is my challenge to you; PRAY. See how and where you might fit in this story. Are you living an honest life? Are you jumping through hoops to meet a social statue quo? Are you letting the people decide who you are and where you go?
just a thought.