Why Worship?

Woo-Hoo

this picture perfectly captures how i am a lot of the time....

jumping for JOY in awe of what God has done with my life. I am in love with my AMAZING God!!!

Bend Oregon

The following is something i wrote about 3 months before i moved to Bend. I feel them same about Bend now as i did then. Perhaps this will fill in some blanks for your thoughts as to WHY exactly did she move to little Bend Oregon....

Bend Oregon
Hebrews 11:1
“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

This is the first verse I recorded as a verse that I believe the Lord showed me in regards to Bend Oregon in my life! The second is equally important:

Romans 5:5
“And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”

Vision
“You must allow your mind to wander outside the boundaries of what is and begin to create a mental picture of what could be.” –Andy Stanley Next Generation Leader

I can’t explain why it’s Bend. Why it isn’t Seattle, Lynden, Blaine, San Diego, or Senegal. If I could I would. But I believe that the Lord has something for me to do in Bend. I know it has to do with the Generations and things the Lord has done in my life that will empower those to come in someway. I also believe that the Lord wants to grow faith in this whole experience, not just for me, but also for those who are a witness to what the Lord has done in my life.

John 1:6-8 “God sent a man, John the Baptist, to tell about the light so that everyone might believe because of his testimony. John himself was not the light; he was simply a witness to tell about the light.”

My desire is to be a walking testimony of the Light; What God can do when we surrender what we know and follow the light he has given. I know I won’t always have the “big picture”. I may be holding a flash light and walking in complete darkness, but where the light shines I will see and follow its path as long as it is safe and clear. If the light is shone on a snake, or deep ditch I would hope I would be smart enough not to try and walk through it or leap over it, but shine the light in another direction and prayerfully follow where it leads.

I have to go to Bend. To learn about ministry. To grow in my faith. To believe for more than I have seen God do. To, perhaps walk through a fire…. To be refined into the beauty the Lord has for me.

Zechariah 13:9

“I will bring that group through the fire

and make them pure.

I will refine them like silver

and purify them like gold.

They will call on my name,

and I will answer them.

I will say, ‘These are my people,’

and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God.’”

only one year?

Are you sure it's only been one year?

I am certain it has been a life time... or at least half of one. 

When i stop and think back over the last year and all the things that have happened i see so much. The most consistent thing is the Faithfulness of God. I am overwhelmed and amazed! So many times this last year i was less than faithful. I was so consumed in my discomfort or pride that i forgot to remember why i am here. Not here as in Bend Oregon, but here on this earth here. I would get so lost in my own world; and forget to change the one around me. 

Psalm 91:4
"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."

It's so true. His faithfulness was my shield. I imagine more so than i even know or will ever see. I love that he loves me enough to not give up on me. He keeps teaching me, even when i stumble and fall over the same situation ten times, he knows i am one step closer to seeing my mistake and having stronger character because of it! Incredible.

Next to his faithfulness i see progress in me. Not in a "i'm so clever and i have improved my situation in life" sort of way... more in a progress that i see things in a different way. Let's be real i have walked through some very hard times this last year. I have cried tons of tears, and in the middle of those hard spots where i cried out because of my misunderstanding i did not see the end. I did not see today. I did not see where i would be looking back on the awful situation saying, "i see God's hand and i receive it with God's grace and guiding." These last few months the main thing God has been asking me to do is get his perspective. This sounds really nice and "visionary" but when the only question you have is WHY? and WHEN? his perspective is the last thing you can grasp or understand. A year ago i did not see his perspective or even think about it that much... now it seems that everyday i am wondering what He sees when he looks at the same circumstances i am facing with a clenched jaw and a raging fist. It's not every-time, but sometimes i get a small glimpse of what he sees and then i relax, knowing that He is in control and everything is going to be alright.

yes it's been a year. A long year. So much has changed and i feel like i am just starting this adventure called life.

Everything was New...

This weekend marks a YEAR since i moved to Bend! Can you believe it??? I can =) and so here starts a series of blogs that commemorate this last year~

- - - - - -

Everything was New...

Last April 21st i woke up to the central Oregon sun shining through my window and i realized something... from here on out everything will be New... and so it was...

New Home to organize and make my own.

New Church to love and find my place in.

New Job to provide for my needs.

New Boss(es) to tell me what to do(and what not to do.)

New Friends... slowly but surely i found  some friends!

New enemies to inform me over & over than i loved Jesus just a little too much for their liking.

New streets to Google Earth and find my way around the round-a-bouts.

New coffee shops to taste and find a favorite.

New gas stations, where they pump it for you... weird.. and still not used to it.

New Safeways to learn where the milk and cereal are.

New Parks to explore and watch the ducks.

New favorite photo spots.

New faces around every corner... and why did it seem (at first) that every guy was SO much cuter than the ones in Washington?????

New coffee buddies.

New Buttes to climb.

New songs to sing.

New.

Everything was so new and refreshing...and sometimes scary... but mostly new.

my favorite 6-year-olds

This is Elijah...

This is Rachel...

They are my favorite 6-year-olds.

Beware; i am pretty sure they are going to change the World.

Tim and Jenny VanDyke

Tim and Jenny

March 28th 2008

He saw her.

She saw him.

They said, "hello."

They went on a date.

They Kissed.

They called.

They were an item.

He proposed.

She said, "YES!"

They were married.

Sounds pretty perfect if you ask me!

i'm a movie star!

just kidding... kinda.

So i recently spent a chunk of time in downtown Bend... eating Pizza, walking around, sitting in the library, drinking Starbucks, meeting with friends and enjoying the SUNSHINE!

In my walking i had a thought... i was heading to Pizza Mondo and as i stepped into the cross walk crossing Franklin, a thought came to mind; 

What if i was the star of a movie right now? 

I looked around, stood a little taller, flung my hair over my shoulder, and glanced at my reflection in a car's window.

What if there was a camera crew with the guys on the moving platform with a camera?

I looked up at the stop light and imagined a Camera pointed at me,  hanging from a robotic arm.

What if all the people in these cars and doing life were extras in my show?

My feet hit the sidewalk and i looked both ways... I know a smile had snuck it's way onto my face and i could tell that the guy with the dog was wondering why i was smiling. 

~

Psalms 139:17-18

"How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.

They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them;

they outnumber the grains of sand!

And when I wake up, you are still with me!"

~

As i began to think about my thoughts of stardom, this verse came to mind. I am a star. When i stop and place myself on the HUGE stage of history, future, forever and now; I imagine God as the Award winning director of my show. His thoughts towards me are precious! He wants me to be a star. A shining star, not with the fame and glory that this world holds as important, but shinning with the light of who HE is in me. His eye is on me like the camera hanging from a robotic arm, or on a moving platform. He is there in my movie-star moments and in my "please don't take a picture" ones. 

Last week i heard someone say that potential is untapped-power waiting to be unlocked. When God picked me for this 'show' He saw my potential. Then he began to give me glimpses of it. He started giving me outrageous dreams of what my life could be if i released it to His directing skills instead of trusting in my own. I realized that He sees the whole stage and so i gave up. I stopped trying to win the awards if this world and the acceptance of the "cool kids".  I am focused on my director. I look to him for affirmation and acceptance. I look to Him for directing. He knows how the picture should look, and even if it's uncomfortable for me at the moment it will be something beautiful when it's complete. Only He knows how to direct people to move at the right time and sing the right note and only He has the angle on my life on one else sees. He's the director. It's His job. He knows how far to push me, He knows my limits and He knows how to comfort me when i feel lost and confused. He is the only one watching me that matters. I don't have to worry about the opinions of the people in the cars watching me cross the street or the guy with the dog wondering why i am smiling. I don't have to place my worth in people who don't encourage me or question why i am so full of life and passion. I don't have to worry about my own opinion of my insecurities. HE picked me for this show! He said, "I believe in you. I know you can do it."

So if you happen upon me and i am standing a little taller, smiling a silly little smile, flinging my hair, and looking at my reflection in a car window, just know that it's not for you. It's for my director.... and most likely i just heard Him whisper, "You can do it. You can change the world. I believe in you."