So i recently spent a chunk of time in downtown Bend... eating Pizza, walking around, sitting in the library, drinking Starbucks, meeting with friends and enjoying the SUNSHINE!
In my walking i had a thought... i was heading to Pizza Mondo and as i stepped into the cross walk crossing Franklin, a thought came to mind;
What if i was the star of a movie right now?
I looked around, stood a little taller, flung my hair over my shoulder, and glanced at my reflection in a car's window.
What if there was a camera crew with the guys on the moving platform with a camera?
I looked up at the stop light and imagined a Camera pointed at me, hanging from a robotic arm.
What if all the people in these cars and doing life were extras in my show?
My feet hit the sidewalk and i looked both ways... I know a smile had snuck it's way onto my face and i could tell that the guy with the dog was wondering why i was smiling.
"How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up, you are still with me!"
As i began to think about my thoughts of stardom, this verse came to mind. I am a star. When i stop and place myself on the HUGE stage of history, future, forever and now; I imagine God as the Award winning director of my show. His thoughts towards me are precious! He wants me to be a star. A shining star, not with the fame and glory that this world holds as important, but shinning with the light of who HE is in me. His eye is on me like the camera hanging from a robotic arm, or on a moving platform. He is there in my movie-star moments and in my "please don't take a picture" ones.
Last week i heard someone say that potential is untapped-power waiting to be unlocked. When God picked me for this 'show' He saw my potential. Then he began to give me glimpses of it. He started giving me outrageous dreams of what my life could be if i released it to His directing skills instead of trusting in my own. I realized that He sees the whole stage and so i gave up. I stopped trying to win the awards if this world and the acceptance of the "cool kids". I am focused on my director. I look to him for affirmation and acceptance. I look to Him for directing. He knows how the picture should look, and even if it's uncomfortable for me at the moment it will be something beautiful when it's complete. Only He knows how to direct people to move at the right time and sing the right note and only He has the angle on my life on one else sees. He's the director. It's His job. He knows how far to push me, He knows my limits and He knows how to comfort me when i feel lost and confused. He is the only one watching me that matters. I don't have to worry about the opinions of the people in the cars watching me cross the street or the guy with the dog wondering why i am smiling. I don't have to place my worth in people who don't encourage me or question why i am so full of life and passion. I don't have to worry about my own opinion of my insecurities. HE picked me for this show! He said, "I believe in you. I know you can do it."
So if you happen upon me and i am standing a little taller, smiling a silly little smile, flinging my hair, and looking at my reflection in a car window, just know that it's not for you. It's for my director.... and most likely i just heard Him whisper, "You can do it. You can change the world. I believe in you."