Sunday, April 20, 2008

only one year?

Are you sure it's only been one year?
I am certain it has been a life time... or at least half of one. 

When i stop and think back over the last year and all the things that have happened i see so much. The most consistent thing is the Faithfulness of God. I am overwhelmed and amazed! So many times this last year i was less than faithful. I was so consumed in my discomfort or pride that i forgot to remember why i am here. Not here as in Bend Oregon, but here on this earth here. I would get so lost in my own world; and forget to change the one around me. 
Psalm 91:4
"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."
It's so true. His faithfulness was my shield. I imagine more so than i even know or will ever see. I love that he loves me enough to not give up on me. He keeps teaching me, even when i stumble and fall over the same situation ten times, he knows i am one step closer to seeing my mistake and having stronger character because of it! Incredible.

Next to his faithfulness i see progress in me. Not in a "i'm so clever and i have improved my situation in life" sort of way... more in a progress that i see things in a different way. Let's be real i have walked through some very hard times this last year. I have cried tons of tears, and in the middle of those hard spots where i cried out because of my misunderstanding i did not see the end. I did not see today. I did not see where i would be looking back on the awful situation saying, "i see God's hand and i receive it with God's grace and guiding." These last few months the main thing God has been asking me to do is get his perspective. This sounds really nice and "visionary" but when the only question you have is WHY? and WHEN? his perspective is the last thing you can grasp or understand. A year ago i did not see his perspective or even think about it that much... now it seems that everyday i am wondering what He sees when he looks at the same circumstances i am facing with a clenched jaw and a raging fist. It's not every-time, but sometimes i get a small glimpse of what he sees and then i relax, knowing that He is in control and everything is going to be alright.

yes it's been a year. A long year. So much has changed and i feel like i am just starting this adventure called life.

1 comment:

Carissa said...

i love you!
i love speaking Spanish!
there´s no squaties, but sometime no water to flush... :0
i miss you bunches!
i pray for you too!
God is amazing!
i love you some more!!!
i miss you too!
hearing from God sooo much!!!
loving Argentina!
i have great friends!!!!
i love you to the moon, oh did o mention that already? to you soon, Carissa