wonderful friends.

i have a few really wonderful friends that i would like the bloggy world to meet:

taylor cailee. my best friend. wow, just wow.

Fabiola Jasmine Maria Caceres. she has a long name and speaks spanish. rad. stephenie. my deep affection for monday mornings comes from this girl!

Jenine. it was her birthday. and her idea to have a photo shoot.

i love us.

re-post.

i am stealing this from my friend Jordan's blog (jordan on the raw)... but i liked it and it kinda goes with my last post about relationships. He was at a college retreat and this was one of the teachings... i especially like #2 & #9

10 Commandments of Relationships:

1. Guys are the initiators and girls are the responders. Proverbs 18:22. Every lady known as an initiator of relationship in the bible was a whore.

2. Getting coffee does not equal marriage. Going on a date does not even mean you’re dating. Do not put your expectations on coffee.

3. Get a vision for the end before you begin. End meaning the start of your marriage, the alter… Get a vision for where you want to be financially, with your purity, how much baggage you want to bring into the relationship. Habakkuk 2:2, 1 Tim 5:8

4. When on a date guys should make it a goal to ask more questions than talk about themselves. James 1:14. Do not be dogmatic or opinionated, but rather open to new things.

5. Godly relationships stir you to pursue Jesus never to pull away. If a relationship begins to take you away from the church, your small group, and Godly accountability found in covenant friendship it is ungodly.

6. Keep your relationship in the light. 1 John 1:7

7. Guys need to lead the relationship. Lines are to be drawn, not discovered. Guys need to draw those lines and yet not be driven by a spirit of legalism. We are grace people.

8. How far is to far is the wrong question. It should be more like how much can I please God in this relationship. If you can hold her hand without going to bed in your mind then hold her hand. For some you may just need to high five it up for a while. Others kissing is okay… not a set rule.

9. Let the relationship happen naturally, do not force it. Say hello>get to know>be a bro>let it grow>give it a go>don’t be so slow.

10. Be confident and have a sense of humor.

it was just coffee.

I love coffee.
love it.
love, love, love it.

I am passionate about Christ centered relationships.
I have read nearly EVERY Christian dating book at the Family Christan Store.
I have only had 1 "real" boyfriend. It was a high school relationship. Drama.

I have been reading my dear friend Bianca's Blog for a while now, and have LOVED her post about relationships, dating, coffee dates... click over and make sure to check out the comments page for great dialog!

Now it's my turn to weigh in on the "Christian Dating" conversation. I'm stoked.

A few years back i made a "rule" when it came to guys. My 2 simple rules for saying YES to a guy: #1. does he love Jesus? #2. did he have the guts to ask you out?
If i answered yes to both of those questions, my belief was founded that any Jesus-loving guy who was brave enough to ask me out deserved AT LEAST Coffee.

Based on that rule, over the years i have gone on a TON of coffee "dates"... i told you i love coffee. I'm not saying i took advantage of coffee-buying guys, not at all. I just tried my best not to over-analyze the coffee-drinking, conversation-having moments in my life. I also didn't pray and get a prophetic word before going out to coffee to check with God to see if he could be "the one". it was just coffee. I would of course call my best friend and ask what i should wear, i for sure prayed a quick "please don't let me have insert-foot-in-mouth disorder today!" prayer on my way to the coffee spot. I would call my mom and get excited about the possibility, but i would always try to go into it with the notion that "it was just coffee" and we would see if he got an upgrade to dinner or coffee part 2.

Most guys didn't.

that being said; i've been on a lot of first dates. not very many second ones.

Nov. 19 2009.

the night before i had been asked out to coffee. He loved Jesus. He had the guts to ask me out. Mind you i had never seen this guy before he was walking up to me to ask me for my phone number. I didn't know anything about him. Quite honestly, i had my sights set on someone else... in a big way... however the reality was, that i was single, and he fit the rule. I gave him my number and as soon as i was out the doors i called my best friend FREAKING OUT!

"But i like (So-n-so)! I can't go to coffee with him, i am stuck on someone else!"

Praise the Lord for a best friend who tells you not to freak out and remember who you are. A risk taker.

to coffee i went. it was good coffee. and in fact it was the most interesting first date i had EVER been on. Not because of the weather, or the coffee or the fact that the guy across the table from me was a Rockstar on his way to fame. There was something so different about the conversation than any other coffee date i had ever been on. After coffee we took a walk and went to a park. Fun times jumping off the swings. Even before the final goodbyes were said and the Rockstar headed home, i quickly resumed my affections for "So-n-so".

3 days later everything i had been hoping for and banking with "So-n-so" on for 10 months ended.

10 days after that, and after a few txting conversations i got an email from the Rockstar. he wanted to be my friend. (insert cassie's very puzzled facial expression here). I instantly thought he wanted more than a friendship and being that i was a mess of mixed emotions i shut him down. He didn't relent that easily. 2 days later he told me he wanted to make sure i hit the call of God on my life and that he had no other motives in being my friend other than to see me win at life. Something inside me knew he wasn't bluffing.

friends we became. good friends. long phone conversation friends. lots of txt messaging friends.

2 months and 6 days after our coffee date something changed. i realized i didn't like being friends with this Rockstar. i wanted something else. something more. in the next 7 days we spent some 20 hours on the phone. (yes that's like a part time job!)

11 days after that he bought a plane ticket and i announced to the world of Facebook that i was dating the Rockstar and that he was coming to visit me in 22 days.

this is my blogosphere announcement that i am dating an amazing man of God who lives in Minnesota. Who loves Jesus. He Came to Bend Oregon. Played a show. Saw a girl and was brave enough to ask her to coffee.

in 8 days i will be picking up my Rockstar man from the airport. I would imagine that the day after that we will go on date #2. He might even get an upgrade to dinner. ;)

but remember:

it was just coffee.

quote of the moment.

"Most people are too Christian to enjoy their sin,
but there is to much sin in most people's lives
to enjoy being a Christian."
-Brother Andrew

my brother. my hero.

the first post i ever wrote on this blog was dedicated to my older brother:

click here. to read it.

the following is a post my mama wrote on her blog.
i couldn't help but re-post it.
to honor my brother.
my hero.
my American Solider with a name, face, heart and tattoos i love.
i love you Gregory James.
come back soon.
i miss you already.

-----------

A Wounded Soldier

Please pray for my oldest son, Gregg, today. He has packed up his little car and headed out on a new life adventure. He is driving to Texas today ... searching for a new life ... searching for a job ... searching for friends ... searching to find God in new ways ...

Gregg has struggled in his walk with the Lord. He has ridden a roller-coaster of faith for the past 10 years. He wants to get off the roller-coaster. He wants to be grounded in his faith. Yet ... his past haunts him and taunts him.

Gregg served 4.5 years in the army ... serving 2.5 of it on the front lines in Ir*q. Gregg was a gunner on a humvee for 6 months. He was a humvee driver for 6 months. And, he was a sniper in Baghd*d for 1.5 years. Gregg has seen and experienced more in his young life than any of us ever want to see or experience. Gregg relives those years ... in his nightmares.

Gregg is moving to Texas. He has an army buddy there. This friend, is his only friend, that can truly understand what haunts him. No one else can understand, unless they have walked in his army boots.

Please pray for Gregg ...

... that the Lord would protect him as he drives.

... that the Lord would lead him and direct him.

... that he would truly give up control of his life,
to the Lord.

The following was written recently by Gregg ... on his Fac*book page. I don't have Fac*book, so I wasn't aware of it until he told me about it last night.

I am sharing this with you, so you might get a glimpse into his heart ... the heart of a hurting young man ... who returned from war ... with many unseen wounds.

written by Gregg (age 25)

Pain. It's what is real in my life
It's the only thing that is true
I look inside but find nothing more than a fire
It burns so bright, but is consuming everything
With little left I have to do something
Somehow I must stop it all
If time could stop, I hold my breath
In hopes to stop the flames
I know I must turn my back on this

How much pain does it take
How many tears must fall
There's a fire inside
It's consuming everything
Why can't I stop it all
I'm losing my grip
This pain is driving the tears
Oh how I must give up control
I've only made a mess of it
All this brokenness around me
Will I finally give up control

Having let go
Light in this darkness
There is only one that can pilot this ship
From the edge
Driven back to the light
But the pull of darkness is strong
I keep looking back
It's there, yes it's still there
Giving up control is the way
Craziness still has its grip on my arm

Every day it's open
Every day it's there
Every day it's honest
Every day it's kept on hold
Every day it's always so loud
Every day it's why I fall on my face
Every day it's why I cry out
Every day it's why I hope
Every day it's why I trust in Him
Every day it's why I know
Every day it's why the sun comes up
Every day it's cause of the beauty that I see

He is why I turn away
He is why I trust
He is why I open up my soul
He is why my heart is put back together
He is why I cry
He is who I meet
He is who I know
He is who I trust
He is who I love

Without Him I am lost
Without Him I hurt
Without Him I can't hold on
Without Him I fall into the darkness
Without Him I have no faith
Without Him I have no hope

Because of Him I see
Because of Him I am healed
Because of Him I take one step and then another
Because of Him I have hope
Because of Him I step out in faith
Because of Him I see what He has for me
Because of Him I can let go

To change
To turn about
To walk away
To hold fast to Him
To know that life goes on
To know LOVE, His love
To believe Him