Friday, February 19, 2010

it was just coffee.

I love coffee.
love it.
love, love, love it.

I am passionate about Christ centered relationships.
I have read nearly EVERY Christian dating book at the Family Christan Store.
I have only had 1 "real" boyfriend. It was a high school relationship. Drama.

I have been reading my dear friend Bianca's Blog for a while now, and have LOVED her post about relationships, dating, coffee dates... click over and make sure to check out the comments page for great dialog!

Now it's my turn to weigh in on the "Christian Dating" conversation. I'm stoked.

A few years back i made a "rule" when it came to guys. My 2 simple rules for saying YES to a guy: #1. does he love Jesus? #2. did he have the guts to ask you out?
If i answered yes to both of those questions, my belief was founded that any Jesus-loving guy who was brave enough to ask me out deserved AT LEAST Coffee.

Based on that rule, over the years i have gone on a TON of coffee "dates"... i told you i love coffee. I'm not saying i took advantage of coffee-buying guys, not at all. I just tried my best not to over-analyze the coffee-drinking, conversation-having moments in my life. I also didn't pray and get a prophetic word before going out to coffee to check with God to see if he could be "the one". it was just coffee. I would of course call my best friend and ask what i should wear, i for sure prayed a quick "please don't let me have insert-foot-in-mouth disorder today!" prayer on my way to the coffee spot. I would call my mom and get excited about the possibility, but i would always try to go into it with the notion that "it was just coffee" and we would see if he got an upgrade to dinner or coffee part 2.

Most guys didn't.

that being said; i've been on a lot of first dates. not very many second ones.

Nov. 19 2009.

the night before i had been asked out to coffee. He loved Jesus. He had the guts to ask me out. Mind you i had never seen this guy before he was walking up to me to ask me for my phone number. I didn't know anything about him. Quite honestly, i had my sights set on someone else... in a big way... however the reality was, that i was single, and he fit the rule. I gave him my number and as soon as i was out the doors i called my best friend FREAKING OUT!

"But i like (So-n-so)! I can't go to coffee with him, i am stuck on someone else!"

Praise the Lord for a best friend who tells you not to freak out and remember who you are. A risk taker.

to coffee i went. it was good coffee. and in fact it was the most interesting first date i had EVER been on. Not because of the weather, or the coffee or the fact that the guy across the table from me was a Rockstar on his way to fame. There was something so different about the conversation than any other coffee date i had ever been on. After coffee we took a walk and went to a park. Fun times jumping off the swings. Even before the final goodbyes were said and the Rockstar headed home, i quickly resumed my affections for "So-n-so".

3 days later everything i had been hoping for and banking with "So-n-so" on for 10 months ended.

10 days after that, and after a few txting conversations i got an email from the Rockstar. he wanted to be my friend. (insert cassie's very puzzled facial expression here). I instantly thought he wanted more than a friendship and being that i was a mess of mixed emotions i shut him down. He didn't relent that easily. 2 days later he told me he wanted to make sure i hit the call of God on my life and that he had no other motives in being my friend other than to see me win at life. Something inside me knew he wasn't bluffing.

friends we became. good friends. long phone conversation friends. lots of txt messaging friends.

2 months and 6 days after our coffee date something changed. i realized i didn't like being friends with this Rockstar. i wanted something else. something more. in the next 7 days we spent some 20 hours on the phone. (yes that's like a part time job!)

11 days after that he bought a plane ticket and i announced to the world of Facebook that i was dating the Rockstar and that he was coming to visit me in 22 days.

this is my blogosphere announcement that i am dating an amazing man of God who lives in Minnesota. Who loves Jesus. He Came to Bend Oregon. Played a show. Saw a girl and was brave enough to ask her to coffee.

in 8 days i will be picking up my Rockstar man from the airport. I would imagine that the day after that we will go on date #2. He might even get an upgrade to dinner. ;)

but remember:

it was just coffee.


Jesse and Taylor said...

Dearest best friend. I admire you and admire you love for Jesus first of all. Second I admire your fearlessness. You are a wonderful example to many "young" christian women on how "dating" should go. You love Jesus most. And love fun exciting opprotunities next. Thank you for enjoying Jesus and enjoying life! You inspire me continuously. Thanks for being my best friend.

Simply Sisters said...

LOVE IT! Such a fun story to listen to...and then read later! :) Sis, I am so happy for you!! You are amazing and deserve the absolute best. Thanks for sharing...again. ;)
Your little "adopted" sis! :)

Bianca said...

OH MY WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so happy for you! Wow. Just wow. When do we get to "meet" him on the blog?

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!! This is insane.

Laurel said...

Such a fun story to share! And LOVE it that you always call your Mama! :)

You left out the part that your Mama asked a few times ... "Are you sure you're just friends? WHY don't you want to be more than just friends?" Won't say, "I told you so ..."

Can't wait to meet the "Rockstar"!!!

mama :)

Anonymous said...
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Papa D said...

Cassie, you are way to funny!
I always thought it was about the people and not the coffee. (it's a woods thing you know?) hit the nail on the head
OH my word is right.
Can't wait to me this "rockstar" from Minnneeessssota
coffee is on us!

Jenay said...


I'm so excited for you I can't stand it!!! You are an amazing girl, and I just knew and know that God had an amazing ROCKSTAR for you. Yippee!! I would love to meet this guys may want to take a little drive to Powell Butte...


Kristin Jag said...

Ahhh...I am so happy and excited to hear about more coffee dates! Have fun with the visit.

Joshua said...

Uh...Casserz... you left out the part about going to your YOUNGER brother for opinion on your clothes ;-). Yes, the one who ALWAYS came to you 10 minutes before going to church just to make sure that "my clothes matched." You always were the fashion guru :). So, yes, all you folks out there, she really did come to me once for advice on if her attire "looked ok, not too dressy, but still nice."
I love you sis. Can't wait to meet your rockstar boyfriend =D

Bianca said...

Mama and Papa D,

Can I be invited to come over when "Rockstar" comes?



Anonymous said...

What an awesome story!

I am curious though - as a single Christian gal testing the dating waters - what are the types of things you ask about during these coffee chats? What advice do you have for someone who never knows what questions to ask?