one more?

"One more? One more Jesus Loves Me song?"

I've heard these 8 little words a lot recently. Seven's vocabulary is growing like crazy and i'm impressed with his thoughts and questions every day.

I would like to say today was no different, but it was. You see, today is the day of "lasts". It's the last time i get to walk into a dark room in the morning and say "good morning bugga-boo! it's cassie!". It was the last time i get to take off his jammies and help pic out clothes. It was the last time we get to argue about what's for breakfast. It was the last time we get to dance around the kitchen to The Ping Pong song by Enrique Iglesias (not the best song ever, but SO FUN to dance to with a 2 year old!). It was the last time we got to go visit Great Grandma together. It was the last date to Looney Bean together. It was the last tickle fight on the fuzzy rug before nap time. It was the last snuggles in the rocking chair before nap time when he said those words... "One more? One more Jesus Loves Me song?"

and then the tears came. and have not actually stopped in 30 minutes.

You see today, i sneezed and for the first time Seven said "bess you! bess you! bess you!".

We went to Safeway and chocolate chips were on sale i said "oh my goodness! this is GREAT", Seven said "oh my doodness, SO GREAT!"

Someone told me today he is apart of my legacy. i drove away and cried.

You see, today is the last day i get to spend with the little red-haired boy who has stolen my heart. We got home from town today and i took his little black car-seat out of my car. I removed the garage door opener from my visor. I changed a diaper and cleaned a room. I put his precious little shoes in their place and rocked him with a song.

At my house I am in the midst of packing my bags, boxes, and tubs. Minnesota is waiting. My heart is torn in two. Hope, future and love beckons me forward. Safety, promises fulfilled and love hold me back.

You see, i am so excited for what's ahead, but right now i just want one more "little baby kiss". I want one more Jesus Loves me song with my little man. I want to hear him call my name when he wakes up from his nap. just one more...

(last photo of us together.)

i take pictures...

plain and simple truth: i love him.

CLICK HERE
for more of my recent work!

your new favorite band.

(yes, this is a shameless plug for my man's band!)

Coming SOON to a city near YOU!

SILVERLINE - US TOUR DATES

• Oct 26 El Paso, Texas -Open Gate Community Church
• Oct 28 Albuquerque, New Mexico -El Rey Theatre
• Oct 29 Las Vegas, Nevada -Valley Bible Fellowship
• Oct 30 Phoenix, Arizona -Southwestern College
• Oct 31 Indio, California -Destiny Special Events Center
• Nov 4 Yorba Linda, California -Yorba Linda Friends Church
• Nov 5 Redlands, California -Packing House
• Nov 6 Bakersfield, California -Valley Bible Fellowship
• Nov 7 Peteluma, California -Phoenix Theatre
• Nov 10 Medford, Oregon -Main 1 Arts Center
• Nov 11 Eugene, Oregon -McDonald Theatre
• Nov 12 Portland, Oregon -Rolling Hills Community Church
• Nov 13 Tacoma, Washington -Temple Theater
• Nov 15 Spokane, Washington -The Service Station
• Nov 16 Tri Cities (Kennewick), Washington -Toyota Center
• Nov 18 Salt Lake City, Utah -Avalon Theater
• Nov 19 Denver, Colorado -Marque Theatre
• Nov 27 Dallas, Texas -The Door
• Dec 5 Bourbonnais, Illinois -College Church of the Nazarene

Today's the day they're on their way!
Go to www.silverlinemusic.com for more information ...
but mostly, GO TO A SHOW!

M is for Minnesota.

just in case you were wondering...

M is for Minnesota.

Minnesota has 90,000 miles of shoreline, more than California, Florida and Hawaii combined.

The Mall of America in Bloomington is the size of 78 football fields --- 9.5 million square feet.

The stapler was invented in Spring Valley, Minnesota

Rollerblades were the first commercially successful in-line Roller Skates. Minnesota students Scott and Brennan Olson invented them in 1980, when they were looking for a way to practice Hockey during the off-season. Their design was an ice hockey boot with 3 inline wheels instead of a blade.

Minnesota Inventions: Masking and Scotch tape, Wheaties cereal, Bisquick, HMOs, the bundt pan, Aveda beauty products, and Green Giant vegetables

Minnesota has one recreational boat per every six people, more than any other state.

Minnesota's waters flow outward in three directions: north to Hudson Bay in Canada, east to the Atlantic Ocean, and south to the Gulf of Mexico.

Author Laura Ingalls Wilder lived on Plum Creek near Walnut Grove.

Minneapolis’ famed skyway system connecting 52 blocks (nearly five miles) of downtown makes it possible to live, eat, work and shop without going outside.

The climate-controlled Metrodome is the only facility in the country to host a Super Bowl, a World Series and a NCAA Final Four Basketball Championship.

The first practical water skis were invented in 1922 by Ralph W. Samuelson, who steam-bent 2 eight-foot-long pine boards into skies. He took his first ride behind a motorboat on a lake in Lake City.

moving.

it's been in the works for awhile, but today it became real.

i'm moving. once again. this time not down the road and around the corner, i'm moving 1,607 miles. north east. Brainerd, Minnesota ready or not here i come!

today i sent out invitations to my going away party, i reserved a u-haul trailer, and made a countdown for all the important things happening between now and then. (18 days(approx) until my first "niece" is born, 21 days until i see my man, 30 days until my man is in Bend, 33 days until i get to see my family, 35 days until Thanksgiving, 39 days until i move!)

sometime i sit and say two words to God "Minnesota? Really?". Don't get me wrong, i am SO excited for all that is ahead and my heart is (beyond) peaceful that this is right where God is calling me and asking me to go, but never in a million years would i have guessed Minnesota would be my next landing spot! When i moved to Bend and fell in love with all it had to offer, i thought i had found a place i would call home for many, many years. I love my job(s), i love my church, i love the families who live here and have adopted me as their own, i love my friends, i love 180 and i love what God is doing here! There is only one thing missing... my man.

Right now Dean is called to be apart of an awesome Band (www.silverlinemusic.com) and God has opened a million doors for me to walk through towards Minnesota, so as crazy as it seems, i am ready to go. However...

i am not ready to be a Vikings fan... Go Seahawks!

the "Twins" are my sisters not a baseball team... Mariners, i will always believe in you!

Golden Gopher? are you serious? GO DUCKS!!!!!!!!

St*rbucks is not a coffee shop... how many pounds of Looney Bean Espresso will fit in my u-haul?!

Day trips to Lubbock Texas are fully acceptable and not insane.

Don't make fun of me if you catch me recording video on my new camera... it will be like comfort food someday.

i will always be from the Pacific Northwest and so proud of it.

testing. 1,2,3.

i am falling in love with my new camera!
it's amazing and i am so blessed to have it!
i keep telling people it's like going from
driving a automatic "slug-bug" to driving a 12 speed semi-truck!
it has so many things my old camera didn't have and so many things
i still have to figure out, but i'm LOVING it!
here are some "test shots" from today...

Seven and i testing out the self timer...

i'm so blessed to live in a gorgeous town...

fall. it's a beauty.

yum.

yum |yəm| (also yum-yum) informal
-exclamation
used to express pleasure at eating, or at the prospect of eating, a particular food.
-adjective
(of food) delicious.

although this photo contains no food and i am not eating anything at the moment,
my sentiments are the same.

delicious.

i'm feeling totally blessed and excited to have this NEW camera at my finger tips and can't wait to see what kind of art we create together.

not ashamed.

"For I am not ashamed of this Good News about Christ.
It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes
—the Jew first and also the Gentile."
Romans 1:16

power. who doesn't like power? i for sure like it. i like the power to order my sandwich without olives or the power to pick my friends on Faceb**k. i would say that to some degree each individual likes power.

ashamed. i am ashamed with few things; in fact, i can't think of anything off the top of my head that i am ashamed of.

recently i have been pondering this verse in the context of those who have known the power and yet somehow find themselves ashamed of where it came from. i know a girl who once loved Jesus with the best of them. she loved the church and all it contained. she loved to worship with the best of 'em. she fell asleep to worship music and woke up to the Word. she preached. she prayed. she followed and proclaimed Christ. she, in my opinion was not ashamed.

more recently i have noticed not just her, but other like her shy away from what they have known. i found her struggling to tell me that she had spent time in prayer; "i sat alone and had some soul-searching moments and (long pause) talked to God about my life."

how can the power (among many things) that comes from Life in Christ not be enough to capture one's heart and attention?

how could anyone whose life has collided with the power be ashamed of it?

finding a voice and some tears.

i'm finding my writing voice again. i mentioned in my last post that i was struggling to find the words to express all that is going on in my life at present. Today i woke up and realized there are words in my mouth, mind and heart that are ready to find their voice in the blogging world again. this of course made me really happy, but slightly overwhelmed. where on earth do i even start? so much to say, so many words.

tears, they speak things that words cannot express, let's start there.

when i was a little person i cried due to the physical need to eat, be held or because of pain.

when i was 12 years old i cried a lot. thank you puberty and an incredible influx of hormones.

since then i have cried many a tear. thank you boys, cramps, boys, hormones, emotions and boys.

on July 1st i stepped into the Summer season with more gusto than i ever have had. there was a purpose for this season and i was determined not to miss it. for the next 90 days i did a lot of things; i prayed more, read more, sang more, danced more and worked more.

i also cried more. i'm not sure if i found the tears or they found me but they showed up.

my heart went through a transformation in the last 3 months. i like to say it was tenderized. yes, tenderized like meat. i have always been someone who feels everything deeply. i also am someone who wears my heart on my sleeve, yet when it comes to crying it took a LOT of BIG emotions all packed together to induce the tears to flow.

this has been very different.

someone tells me about the deep things God is doing in their heart? tears.
someone tells me about the joy of a boyfriend doing something incredibly mature and wonderful? tears.
the lights go out during the altar call for 8,000 people? tears.
meeting people whose hearts burst with life and incredible purpose? tears.
praying for 180 girls late at night? tears.
listening to pod-casted messages i've heard a million times? tears.
knowing a little life is growing inside my best friend? tears.
alone reading a book in the sun, when suddenly the Love of God is so real and invades my tanning self? tears.
little person randomly asking for "one more hug?". tears.

my heart has been broken and put back together in a fresh and tender way and i am inclined to embrace it. Please do not be surprised if the next time we share a conversation my face crinkles up and my brow furrows. Do not be alarmed if there is a streak in my makeup or mascara seems misplaced, it's just the tears of a heart learning to feel deeper than the emotions of a heart break or the influx of hormones. i would like to say i now possess the incredible "talent" to cry pretty tears like Jenna Kay or Beth Fischer, but i'm still learning. bare with me while i find my voice and the tears find me.

so much to say.

I have so much to tell the bloggy-world, but i don't have a lot of words ... SO much has been going on in my life in the last couple weeks!!! God is doing AWESOME and AMAZING things! i am excited to see what this next season looks like!

for now please enjoy this video from I Heart Central Oregon & Nick Vujicic

draw me nearer.

Draw Me Nearer
words and music by Meredith Andrews

For your nearness Lord I hunger
For your nearness Lord I wait
Hold me ever closer Father
Such a love I can't escape

For your nearness I am hoping
For your nearness Lord I long
Have no need of any other
I have found where I belong
Yes, I have found where I belong

So draw me nearer Lord
Never let me go
Closer to your heart
Draw me nearer Lord
Draw me nearer Lord

In your nearness there is healing
What was broken now made whole
Restoration in its fullness
Lasting hope for all who come

In your nearness I take shelter
Where you are is where I'm home
I have need of only one thing
To be here before your throne
To be here before you throne

And keep me here, keep me here
There's nowhere else I rather be
So keep me here, keep me here
There's nowhere else I rather be
There's nowhere else I rather be

So draw me nearer Lord
Never let me go
Closer to your heart
Draw me nearer Lord
Draw me nearer Lord
Draw me nearer my Lord

first comes love.

i have a special like for engaged couples.

especially when the "him" is my little brother.

congrats Jeremiah & Ashleigh!

i am STOKED to shoot your wedding in December!
(jump on over to my Kekasmai Images site for more pics of these two}

looking back {1 day}

as i get ready to step into the next season of my life and accept that i am really an adult(25 makes it so real), not a small child trapped in a big person's body, i have been looking forward to what's ahead and looking back at what got me here. so today, here is a list.

25 things that have brought me this far...

- my BIRTH mom i would like to say Thanks and Your Welcome. Thanks for bringing me into this world, and your welcome (not that i really had much choice in the matter) that i wanted to come early and be real little in comparison to my big brother :)

- growing up in an amazing family centered on Christ. "thankful" doesn't even come close to expressing how full my heart is when i think of how blessed i am to have grown up in the family i did.

- being home educated. once again THANKS MOM! for making a choice to keep us at home, not because you wanted to shelter us from the world, but so that you and Papa could give us a godly/biblical worldview, so that we might be empowered to change the world for Christ! AND, who doesn't love having lunch with their siblings every day, taking "field trips" to the Zoo, taking a break to play outside because weather is nice and being able to study missionaries as a history assignment!?!?!

- my brothers. you have all taught me so much! Gregg and Jeremiah. goodness, thinking about growing up with you 2 makes me laugh and want to cry! i'm so happy we got along and did the CRAZY things we did! Thanks for not letting me be a girly-girl. Thanks for teaching me how to play basketball, baseball, football and rollar-blade hockey! Thanks for including me in your laser tag games and capture the flag teams even when i was the only girl! Thanks for being friends with me in junior high and high school... you didn't have to. Thanks for making sure i knew what the mind of a guy is like and how to be a lady who wouldn't settle for a stupid boy.

- my sisters. what in the world would i have done if i were the only girl?!?! 6 brothers and me. that would have been insane! I'm SOOOO glad God gave me 5 little sisters to love and hang out with! I love "sissy-time" more than most things! I love that we are close and can stay up all night talking! I am so thankful for all the fun times we had playing house, barbies, dolls and making up dances! i'm proud of each of you!

- Billy Graham Crusade. Realizing my need for a savior and a life calling bigger than myself.

- running. i started running when i was in 4th grade. the smell of spring reminds me of track season. i have SO MANY great memories from my time on the track.

- BSF. Bible Study Fellowship was apart of my life for more years than not. My biblical knowledge and foundation has come from the weeks digging into the Word and learning what Hermeneutical studies are.

- Moving to Whatcom County. Scary, but the best thing my parents ever did for us!

- Haiti. My first look at world missions. i was 16 and had never been on a plane, much less experienced a 5th world country. My life will forever be changed by the stories i heard and the things i saw... for this i am thankful.

- High School relationships. Navigating HS is hard stuff. Trying to figure out friends, boy friends and dating is rough...doing this with crazy emotions and lack of life experience?! oh my goodness! how ever did i survive? I'm thankful for what i learned, but never want to do that again!

- Road Trip revelations. June 2004. North Dakota. Hosea 2. Mind blown.

- YWAM. Discipleship Training School. I'm not sure it should be called a school, although you learn a lot of stuff and hear a lot of good teaching i think the real growth comes from the relationships and everyday experience of living in community. Also, the World shrinks once you enter the YWAM world, it's a weird phenomenon.

- Africa. Oh Africa. I can't even describe what you did to my heart. Preaching to 600 middle school students and being reprimanded for assuming i could preach like i would in the states? Humbled much? Preaching at a Muslim school 2 weeks later and realizing that God does things so much better than you could have planned. Seeing tumors disappear because our God heals.

- March 2005 - April 2007 Last years living at home with my amazing family. Wouldn't trade them for a college diploma if my life depended on it!

- the Edge. My first "child". My first taste of church ministry and politics. You taught me more than i could have ever taught you. Releasing you to God was hard to do, but knowing i did what i was called to do gave me the courage to go on.

- India. I thought i had you figured out but upon arrival i learned i didn't. not one bit. The sorrow in the eyes i saw will never leave my mind. The smells and sounds will be forever heard in my dreams. Until we meet again, you hold my heart.

- Learning to pray. The biggest teacher for this was August 2005 and having my (at the time) 3 year old brother Elijah in the ICU at Children's hospital for 3 weeks.

- Moving to Bend. Faith in it's most raw form. Although the process of getting here was insane and complicated, i could not have stayed living the life i was. Change, it moves things forward.

-Falling off a cliff. Who knew that breaking your foot could be the biggest teacher of living a life of faith/risk?

- Working at Red Robin. Challenging beyond imagination. Rewarding beyond what i thought possible. "A Smiling Burger 'wows' our guests every time..."

- Learning to love people without selfish motivation. I'm no longer concerned with climbing the social ladder, all i want to do is love people well.

- Living with Married people (Thanks Mike & Allie and Jesse & Tay). I have been asked a lot what it's like to live with married people... it's awesome! If you want a glimpse of what marriage might look like, live with married people, they are the real deal! I'm SO THANKFUL for the opportunity to have watched 2 awesome couples walk through life!!

- Oneighty. I think i have been a student to this ministry as much as i have been a leader in it. I cannot imagine my life without you. Thanks for letting me cry, scream, spit, laugh and preach! My only hope is that you know my love for you and my desire to see you hit the mark that is the call of God on your life!

- Being submitted to the call of God regardless of the cost. Anything he has asked me to do outside of my understanding or desire has been worth it. Walking in surrender is the thing that over and over again has defined my life and brought me this far.

my whole house is great {2 days}

please watch:



25 things i like (in no particular order):

- i like my Papa and Mama
- i like my jobs
- i like my coffee
- i like my pajamas
- i like my brothers
- i like my sisters and future sister-in-laws
- i like my cameras
- i like my whole house, my whole house is great.
- i like my Seven
- i like my church
- i like my best friend
- i like my purple pillow
- i like my Beth Fischer
- i like my heroes
- i like my dance moves
- i like my 180
- i like my peanut butter creamy
- i like my man
- i like my music loud
- i like my toys with no noise
- i like my road trips
- i like my airplanes
- i like my hair
- i like my secrets
- i like my life, my whole life is great

licking the bowl {3 days}

Seven was pretty stoked about this situation...

i take pictures {5 days}

i love it when people are willing to do things that are a little out of the box for a great shot!
this is Willow, she is one of those people!

getting ready. {7 days}

i am currently in "editing" mode. this means i am wearing my over-sized gray sweatpants, an old tshirt, ponytail and glasses. comfortable and creative.

the last 5 weekends can be summed up in one word: weddings. 5 weddings!

some of my favorite photos from a wedding day are of the bride getting ready, i feel honored to watch the transformation from (tired) "un-done" girl to stunning princess bride! i love the smiles when they look in the mirror as each step of the getting ready process unfolds... the smiles, the gasps and the giggles!

also on my favorite photos list? the "first look" photos. the moment where the bride and groom see each other all decked out for the first time! It's usually been a few HOURS since the bride started getting ready and a few MINUTES for the groom! i've seen tears, i've seen sheepish smiles, i've seen blank expressions and jumping with delight!

recently i have been pondering what it means for the Church to be the bride of Christ, a phrase i am not particularly fond of... it's a hard phrase to understand and fully "get", especially in a culture and world where a wedding is a commercial event, not a sacred covenant.

as i sit for hours and edit wedding photos i have thought a lot about "getting ready"... we get ready for the day. we buy calendars so we can plan and get ready for the week, month or year. we take action to get ready for birthdays, parties, days at the beach, road trips and bed.

girls need time to "get ready" for most things...especially after the age of 13... getting ready is more than putting clothes on and brushing out last night's bed head, getting ready is a process. we shower and shave. we brush, comb, back-comb and blow dry. we curl and pin. we apply makeup, lotion and perfume. we (most likely) try on a couple outfits before we settle on the one we are actually going to wear; not to mention the shoe options for each outfit.

for a bride on her wedding day take that process and multiply it by 100. most likely there have been multiple dresses tried on, once "the one" is picked it has to be fitted and hemmed. sometimes there is a practice run through on the makeup and hair. a lot of times there is a change of shoe, from the ceremony "pretty" shoes to the comfortable reception shoes. not one detail is left out. not one blemish is left un-covered or smudge of makeup left un-fixed. Tide-To-Go pens are a must have on the wedding day, just in case something gets on the dress... no one wants a blotch of lip gloss from the flower girl's hug on the white fabric.

if the Church is the bride of Christ shouldn't we be doing a better job at getting ready for our "first look"? should any detail be left out? should spot or blemish remain? are we too concerned with being "seeker friendly" rather than a pure bride?

empower. {8 days}

em·pow·er –verb

1. to give power or authority to; authorize, esp. by legal or official means.

2. to enable or permit.


i have been pondering this word for a couple weeks and have decided i really like it. it's a verb. a "do-ing" word. i want to empower people to accomplish the will of God for their life by whatever means is in my hands. i want to permit people to speak into my life when necessary. i want to see people lifted up and encouraged because of Jesus in me.


empower. it's a good word.

new roommates. {9 days}

3.5 years divided by

i moved to Bend. 3 roommates
+
6months later i moved again. 2 roommates
+
8months later moved again. 2 roommates
+
34 days later moved again. 0 roommates
+
8months later moved again. 4 roommate
+
13 months later moved again. 2 roommates
+
6months later moved again. 3 roommates

=
7 moves. 16 people lived with.

move much?

i am stoked to live with these 4 fine ladies! they are incredibly wonderful and funny.
i like living with funny people so i anticipate this working out just fine :)

bread of life {10 days}

Jeremiah 6:16

"This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around.

Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it.

Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls."

i have been "chewing" on this for a few days and really love it.

STOP. LOOK AROUND.

OLD. GODLY.

WALK.

REST.

yum.