Tuesday, April 27, 2010

the first year.


this was my first year picture.
it perfectly describes how i felt after that first year in Bend.
amazed that i had made it.
sometimes people say "Jesus is enough, He's all you need."
after my first year in Bend i like to say "You never know that Jesus is all you need until He is all that you have."
i was so alone, afraid, unsure and just plain needy that first year.
i needed everything Jesus has to offer on a daily basis.
that first year put me in a place of dependence that i had never been in.
that first year taught me what real faith was.
i am so thankful for that first year. i don't want to do it again, but i am thankful for it.
it is a year i can always point to when i need to remember the faithfulness of my God.
and so i said it then, let me say it again; Woo-Hoo.
Woo-stinkin'-Hoo.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

three years.

April 22, 2007
i woke up to the sun shining in a new city, a new bedroom and a new life.
hopeful.
scared.
ready.
excited.
unsure.
determined.

1 church.
2 jobs.
6 houses.
2 best friends.
3 favorite coffee shops.
10 times calling friends because i was lost.
7 beautiful peaks.
5 first dates.
1 awesome Rockstar.
66,000 miles put on my car.
100 times up and down the butte.
2 high school youth pastors.
1 broken foot.
12,500 pictures taken.
1,000's of tears.
100's of dreams come true.
18 messages preached.
millions of prayers.
millions of minutes on the phone.

and

1,095 days later.

April 22, 2010
i woke up to the sun shining through my window. it's a new day. it's a new moment. i can't believe all that has happened in the last three years. i can't believe what God has done. i am so thankful. i am so blessed. i am:
hopeful.
scared.
ready.
excited.
unsure.
determined.

*check back in the next couple days for more thoughts on the last 3 years*

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

happy birthday little man!

i wanted a "gold star" for my nanny-ing skills an so dove into making the coolest birthday cake for a little boy who LOVES curious George.

in the process:

the finished product:
George gets a close up:Seven wanted to check out the details:
i can't believe "my" little man is 2:eating George was a little bit of a shock:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEVEN!!!! LOVE YA LOADS!

**these photos were taken on my Cell phone and are not meant to be a representation of my photography skills**

Friday, April 09, 2010

some photos.

i realized i didn't post a lot of photos from my time with my Rockstar when he was here.

i also realized i need to write more.

for now... some photos:

Sunset on Lopez Island
Hike #2.Yes, we smooched.
(note to any young people who may be reading/or seeing these pictures: When you are 24 and have waited and prayed and are 24 and dating a man/woman of God... ONLY then are you allowed to smooch and put such photos on your blog or FB.)
it was sunny.i am basically a goofball and crawl in fox holes.my Rockstar is basically really good looking and serious.
we crack ourselves up.more sunset.we went to the Zoo with my amazing Mama and little Siblings. Mostly, we did our best to look cute....

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Sunday, April 04, 2010

dear Oneighty.

**Oneighty is the youth ministry of Westside Church. In this post i am referring to it as if it were encompassing the entirety of the students who have been, are, or will be apart of it.**

Dear Oneighty,

It has been nearly 4 years since i met you among the pod-casts of youth groups in the NW. It has been 3.5 years since i first encountered you. It has been over 2.5 years that i have considered you a LARGE part of my life. After so much time i can say without a doubt, I Love You.

This love has not always been fun or easy. It has not offered much tangible reward. It has not always "felt" like skipping through daisies, surrounded by butterflies, but yes this love in my heart will never be easily shaken or replaced. Yes, Oneighty. I. Love. You.

I have often woke up in the night thinking about you. I have had numerous dreams about you. I saw you in a vision before i met you! I often find myself "word vomiting" ideas about how to see you grow, not just in number but in depth, joy, love and life. I think about you when i drive to work. I think about you when i am taking pictures. I think about you every time i see a "u-turn" sign. I think about you when i see certain names in my Faceb**k news feed. I think about you when i smell certain smells. I have high hopes for you. I believe in you. I Love You.

and yet.

I cannot change you.

I can only walk in obedience to what the Lord asks me to do with you, in you and to you! I speak to you often about things that matter. However, more often than not i fear that the words i speak are quickly forgotten. I fear that i will never say the right thing... sometimes i think i do, but then i see your lives and wonder if the words actually came out of my mouth.

Oneighty, I realize that I have mentioned myself a lot in this letter, but really it's about YOU! I Love YOU! I want to see you win more than anything else, and yet it's not up to me to win it for you! YOU have to make the choice. YOU have to actually walk out the will of God on your life! YOU have to choose to be more committed to becoming a disciple of Christ than the next "Prefontaine"
or "T. Sw*ft". YOU hold the keys to unlocking the potential that is YOU!

I know i have said it many times, but here i am again; I cannot be at SHS, MVHS and BHS everyday of the week. I cannot reach the 1,000 students that have been prayed for to find a safe place in the building called "180". I can't be at the parties, (stupid) dances, band trips and lunches. YOU. CAN.

Sometimes you look at me to be more, do more, give more, serve more, plan more events, write better messages, be on time, never miss an event, come to your birthday party and lead the best small group ever. Yet, i have a feeling that even if I did all of those things 100% perfectly every time, YOU would not change. YOU would still only boast 52 kids at 10:45 on any given Sunday. YOU would still want more "depth" to your small group. YOU would still want worship to be longer and the message to "hit the mark".

So here is my challenge to you.

BE THE CHANGE YOU LONG TO SEE!

speak up in small group. bring the depth you desire.
worship for an hour before you get to service.
invite a friend to come to church.
preach the message that burns on your heart in the halls of your schools.
stand for what is right.
live for what is truth.
make your spiritual life more of a priority than your wheat field on Farmville.
show up in your clothes from practice, concert, show, meet, game or event.
stay up late to do homework after service.
pray for change. be the change.

YOU have to choose to be committed to becoming a disciple of Christ.

As much as i love you and want to see you win i cannot grow you, teach you, listen to you, encourage you or serve you until YOU take a step in the direction you want to go.

I am not asking you to be famous for your faith.
I am not telling you that you are wrong.
I am not going to stop loving you.
I am not saying you won't make it.
I am not disappointed in you.

I want YOU to hit the call of God on your life.
I want YOU to be fully devoted disciples of Christ.
I want YOU to go further than you ever have.
I want YOU to change the World.
I want YOU to access the Power of God.
I want YOU to WIN!

not only do i want it for you, but i BELIEVE it for you!

Walk out what you say you believe.
Dream bigger than you thought possible.
Worship until you have no voice.
Pray until it's affective.
Run towards Heaven.

and don't forget:

Oneighty. I LOVE YOU,
Cass

join me?

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

happy birthday to my rockstar!

If we didn't have birthdays, you wouldn't be you!
If you'd never been born, than what would you do?
If you'd never been born, than what would you be?

You might be a fish! or a toad in a tree!

You might be a doorknob! Or three baked potatoes!

You might be a bag full of hard green tomatoes!

Or worse than all that... Why, you might be a WASN'T!!!

A Wasn't has no fun at all. No, he doesn't.
A Wasn't just isn't. He's just not present.
But you. You... ARE YOU! And now, isn't that pleasant!


"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You."
- Dr. Seuss.

Dean,
i wouldn't trade the you that you are for any other you!
You have blessed my life more in the last 4 months since we met than you could know.
Today the only part of me that is sad is the part that wishes i could be with you on your birthday. I hope your day is full of all the things you love. I hope your sisters & mama spoil you for me. I hope you stand taller knowing i am cheering for you, even from far away. I can't wait to come see you. I can't wait to hike another mountain(or 3) with you! I am blown away by your heart and your kindness. I am blessed by your wisdom and captivated by your heart. Thanks for thinking i look good in sweats and a pony-tail. Thanks for believing in my dream for Africa. Thanks for thinking i have a good voice. You can't even begin to understand how proud i am to call you mine! Wow! I can't even believe that the last few months have un-folded as they have! I am thrilled to have laughed late into the night with you. I am blessed to have had you to hear my tears and calmly tell me everything would be ok! We have jumped some hurdles and won a few races. We have tred some deep water together! My heart dances when i think that i have YOU! to do all these things with... even the hard things.... i am so blessed.

So.

My hope today is that, even though all i have is words from far away, you can hear my heart singing HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Because i only have words, i want you to hear me loud and clear: March 24th will never be just another day on my calendar, i plan on always circling it on the calendar with a heart <3. I plan on always smiling on your birthday. I plan on always writing you a special blog post. Because words are all i have today, hear me when i say;
i love you. happy birthday!
~your girl cassie

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

my two favorite bands.

i have a lot of music i love.
i mostly just love music in general.
however.
there are two bands that will always have a special place in my heart.
introducing: my two favorite bands.

Silverline. (website? CLICK HERE)


Get It Right

SILVERLINE | MySpace Music Videos

i especially like the drummer. :)

Elliot. (website? CLICK HERE)


yes, it's a Toms Shoes commercial... but the music. Oh the music... it's Elliot.

here's a little Elliot acoustic:

'The Beauty of the Cross' by Fee, Performed by the Authors, Casey Parnell and Corey Parnell from Evan Earwicker on Vimeo.



check them out people.
book a show if you like what you hear.
you won't regret it.
i promise.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

meet the Rockstar.

bloggy world.
meet my Rockstar Dean.
he's here!
we went for a hike.
he kissed my cheek.
and made me smile.
we sat on some rocks.
and checked out the view.
it's been really great.
seriously.
so great.
so fun.
so blessed am i.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

wonderful friends.

i have a few really wonderful friends that i would like the bloggy world to meet:

taylor cailee. my best friend. wow, just wow.

Fabiola Jasmine Maria Caceres. she has a long name and speaks spanish. rad. stephenie. my deep affection for monday mornings comes from this girl!
Jenine. it was her birthday. and her idea to have a photo shoot.
i love us.

Monday, February 22, 2010

re-post.

i am stealing this from my friend Jordan's blog (jordan on the raw)... but i liked it and it kinda goes with my last post about relationships. He was at a college retreat and this was one of the teachings... i especially like #2 & #9

10 Commandments of Relationships:

1. Guys are the initiators and girls are the responders. Proverbs 18:22. Every lady known as an initiator of relationship in the bible was a whore.

2. Getting coffee does not equal marriage. Going on a date does not even mean you’re dating. Do not put your expectations on coffee.

3. Get a vision for the end before you begin. End meaning the start of your marriage, the alter… Get a vision for where you want to be financially, with your purity, how much baggage you want to bring into the relationship. Habakkuk 2:2, 1 Tim 5:8

4. When on a date guys should make it a goal to ask more questions than talk about themselves. James 1:14. Do not be dogmatic or opinionated, but rather open to new things.

5. Godly relationships stir you to pursue Jesus never to pull away. If a relationship begins to take you away from the church, your small group, and Godly accountability found in covenant friendship it is ungodly.

6. Keep your relationship in the light. 1 John 1:7

7. Guys need to lead the relationship. Lines are to be drawn, not discovered. Guys need to draw those lines and yet not be driven by a spirit of legalism. We are grace people.

8. How far is to far is the wrong question. It should be more like how much can I please God in this relationship. If you can hold her hand without going to bed in your mind then hold her hand. For some you may just need to high five it up for a while. Others kissing is okay… not a set rule.

9. Let the relationship happen naturally, do not force it. Say hello>get to know>be a bro>let it grow>give it a go>don’t be so slow.

10. Be confident and have a sense of humor.

Friday, February 19, 2010

it was just coffee.

I love coffee.
love it.
love, love, love it.

I am passionate about Christ centered relationships.
I have read nearly EVERY Christian dating book at the Family Christan Store.
I have only had 1 "real" boyfriend. It was a high school relationship. Drama.

I have been reading my dear friend Bianca's Blog for a while now, and have LOVED her post about relationships, dating, coffee dates... click over and make sure to check out the comments page for great dialog!

Now it's my turn to weigh in on the "Christian Dating" conversation. I'm stoked.

A few years back i made a "rule" when it came to guys. My 2 simple rules for saying YES to a guy: #1. does he love Jesus? #2. did he have the guts to ask you out?
If i answered yes to both of those questions, my belief was founded that any Jesus-loving guy who was brave enough to ask me out deserved AT LEAST Coffee.

Based on that rule, over the years i have gone on a TON of coffee "dates"... i told you i love coffee. I'm not saying i took advantage of coffee-buying guys, not at all. I just tried my best not to over-analyze the coffee-drinking, conversation-having moments in my life. I also didn't pray and get a prophetic word before going out to coffee to check with God to see if he could be "the one". it was just coffee. I would of course call my best friend and ask what i should wear, i for sure prayed a quick "please don't let me have insert-foot-in-mouth disorder today!" prayer on my way to the coffee spot. I would call my mom and get excited about the possibility, but i would always try to go into it with the notion that "it was just coffee" and we would see if he got an upgrade to dinner or coffee part 2.

Most guys didn't.

that being said; i've been on a lot of first dates. not very many second ones.

Nov. 19 2009.

the night before i had been asked out to coffee. He loved Jesus. He had the guts to ask me out. Mind you i had never seen this guy before he was walking up to me to ask me for my phone number. I didn't know anything about him. Quite honestly, i had my sights set on someone else... in a big way... however the reality was, that i was single, and he fit the rule. I gave him my number and as soon as i was out the doors i called my best friend FREAKING OUT!

"But i like (So-n-so)! I can't go to coffee with him, i am stuck on someone else!"

Praise the Lord for a best friend who tells you not to freak out and remember who you are. A risk taker.

to coffee i went. it was good coffee. and in fact it was the most interesting first date i had EVER been on. Not because of the weather, or the coffee or the fact that the guy across the table from me was a Rockstar on his way to fame. There was something so different about the conversation than any other coffee date i had ever been on. After coffee we took a walk and went to a park. Fun times jumping off the swings. Even before the final goodbyes were said and the Rockstar headed home, i quickly resumed my affections for "So-n-so".

3 days later everything i had been hoping for and banking with "So-n-so" on for 10 months ended.

10 days after that, and after a few txting conversations i got an email from the Rockstar. he wanted to be my friend. (insert cassie's very puzzled facial expression here). I instantly thought he wanted more than a friendship and being that i was a mess of mixed emotions i shut him down. He didn't relent that easily. 2 days later he told me he wanted to make sure i hit the call of God on my life and that he had no other motives in being my friend other than to see me win at life. Something inside me knew he wasn't bluffing.

friends we became. good friends. long phone conversation friends. lots of txt messaging friends.

2 months and 6 days after our coffee date something changed. i realized i didn't like being friends with this Rockstar. i wanted something else. something more. in the next 7 days we spent some 20 hours on the phone. (yes that's like a part time job!)

11 days after that he bought a plane ticket and i announced to the world of Facebook that i was dating the Rockstar and that he was coming to visit me in 22 days.

this is my blogosphere announcement that i am dating an amazing man of God who lives in Minnesota. Who loves Jesus. He Came to Bend Oregon. Played a show. Saw a girl and was brave enough to ask her to coffee.

in 8 days i will be picking up my Rockstar man from the airport. I would imagine that the day after that we will go on date #2. He might even get an upgrade to dinner. ;)

but remember:

it was just coffee.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

quote of the moment.

"Most people are too Christian to enjoy their sin,
but there is to much sin in most people's lives
to enjoy being a Christian."
-Brother Andrew

Monday, February 15, 2010

my brother. my hero.

the first post i ever wrote on this blog was dedicated to my older brother:
click here. to read it.

the following is a post my mama wrote on her blog.
i couldn't help but re-post it.
to honor my brother.
my hero.
my American Solider with a name, face, heart and tattoos i love.
i love you Gregory James.
come back soon.
i miss you already.

-----------

A Wounded Soldier

Please pray for my oldest son, Gregg, today. He has packed up his little car and headed out on a new life adventure. He is driving to Texas today ... searching for a new life ... searching for a job ... searching for friends ... searching to find God in new ways ...

Gregg has struggled in his walk with the Lord. He has ridden a roller-coaster of faith for the past 10 years. He wants to get off the roller-coaster. He wants to be grounded in his faith. Yet ... his past haunts him and taunts him.

Gregg served 4.5 years in the army ... serving 2.5 of it on the front lines in Ir*q. Gregg was a gunner on a humvee for 6 months. He was a humvee driver for 6 months. And, he was a sniper in Baghd*d for 1.5 years. Gregg has seen and experienced more in his young life than any of us ever want to see or experience. Gregg relives those years ... in his nightmares.

Gregg is moving to Texas. He has an army buddy there. This friend, is his only friend, that can truly understand what haunts him. No one else can understand, unless they have walked in his army boots.

Please pray for Gregg ...

... that the Lord would protect him as he drives.

... that the Lord would lead him and direct him.

... that he would truly give up control of his life,
to the Lord.

The following was written recently by Gregg ... on his Fac*book page. I don't have Fac*book, so I wasn't aware of it until he told me about it last night.

I am sharing this with you, so you might get a glimpse into his heart ... the heart of a hurting young man ... who returned from war ... with many unseen wounds.

written by Gregg (age 25)

Pain. It's what is real in my life
It's the only thing that is true
I look inside but find nothing more than a fire
It burns so bright, but is consuming everything
With little left I have to do something
Somehow I must stop it all
If time could stop, I hold my breath
In hopes to stop the flames
I know I must turn my back on this

How much pain does it take
How many tears must fall
There's a fire inside
It's consuming everything
Why can't I stop it all
I'm losing my grip
This pain is driving the tears
Oh how I must give up control
I've only made a mess of it
All this brokenness around me
Will I finally give up control

Having let go
Light in this darkness
There is only one that can pilot this ship
From the edge
Driven back to the light
But the pull of darkness is strong
I keep looking back
It's there, yes it's still there
Giving up control is the way
Craziness still has its grip on my arm

Every day it's open
Every day it's there
Every day it's honest
Every day it's kept on hold
Every day it's always so loud
Every day it's why I fall on my face
Every day it's why I cry out
Every day it's why I hope
Every day it's why I trust in Him
Every day it's why I know
Every day it's why the sun comes up
Every day it's cause of the beauty that I see

He is why I turn away
He is why I trust
He is why I open up my soul
He is why my heart is put back together
He is why I cry
He is who I meet
He is who I know
He is who I trust
He is who I love

Without Him I am lost
Without Him I hurt
Without Him I can't hold on
Without Him I fall into the darkness
Without Him I have no faith
Without Him I have no hope

Because of Him I see
Because of Him I am healed
Because of Him I take one step and then another
Because of Him I have hope
Because of Him I step out in faith
Because of Him I see what He has for me
Because of Him I can let go

To change
To turn about
To walk away
To hold fast to Him
To know that life goes on
To know LOVE, His love
To believe Him

Sunday, January 24, 2010

what happened to grace?

grace |grās| noun
1 the free and unmerited favor of a superior.
2 simple elegance or refinement of movement.
• an attractively polite manner of behaving.

this word has been swirling around in my head for 2 months. exactly 2. i have had countless conversations about it. i have lay awake at night thinking about it. i have word vomited my thoughts on it to countless people. it's been churning inside me in a very deep place.

the Church has lost grace. bold statement? perhaps. too bold? not in my opinion. the Church is really good at blame, judgment and condemnation. Grace? not always. Sometimes? yeah for sure... but in general, the way i see it; grace is missing in the Church.

don't get me wrong. we (the Chruch) LOVE receiving grace. we love the grace of God. we love that he reaches down from Heaven and extends his FAVOR to us. Not because of anything we have or have not done. (Romans 3:24) However in my recent observation of grace we don't have a very accurate picture of grace.... We go to church and ask for a touch of grace. We seek a moment of grace. We see grace as the band-aid to our sin. Grace is so much more than a band-aid or warm fuzzy we feel in worship. UNMERITED FAVOR! It has nothing to do with us. nothing. i can't sing loud enough, pray hard enough, cry big enough tears. i can't do anything. it just is. grace. it reaches for us and all we have to do is believe that it's there, receive it and start to live righteous lives because of it. i don't have to have my crap together to receive it. if i thought i did or tried to, i wouldn't be receiving grace, i'd be trying to get my gold stars for doing my chores.

so what happened to it? if we understand those statements about grace, does it stop there? is grace solely unmerited favor from God? can grace move through us? can it go beyond us?

sometimes i think it gets stuck at the altar. and sadly, i think we are often ok with that.

i see people who have loved God. known God. walked with God. soaked in his presence. seen his healing. prayed the prayers. waved the banners. served the poor. gone to Africa. done the stuff. hit the mark. walked in calling and purpose.

but.

sometimes.

even these people stumble and fall. they miss the mark. the drink more and worship less. they party more and listen less. they booty-dance it up. they wave different banners.

what happened to grace for these ones? yeah. these ones. the ones who loved, served, prayed, cried, worshiped, went. then, for whatever reason, they drank, partied, danced, messed up. what happened to grace for them?

sometimes stuff happens. and we get distracted from the call of God. we get messed up. we miss the mark. does grace extend to us then? does grace extend even to those places?

biblicaly? heck yes.

Churchly? not so much.

churchly is for sure not a word, but hang in there. we (the Church) love the lost. (at least we claim to). we love to see people "miraculously" saved. We love to see people do a 180 from growing up in a cult to leading worship on our mission trips. We love to see the tattooed ex-drug crazies passionately pursuing Jesus. We love to see the savage in the jungle hear the truth for the first time. we love the salvation stories of those who never knew a loving God. We even make videos to tell their stories at big events. transformation. the word alone gets us all in a happy dance.

is this grace? yes.

We(the church) are real bad at it when it comes to those who have once had the "it" of God on their life and for whatever reason have lost it. We don't extend grace to them. We leave them in their crap and judge them harshly when they come to back looking for hope.

the part 2 of the definition gets me.

2 simple elegance or refinement of movement. •an attractively polite manner of behaving.

if this is grace we need more of it in the way we act towards those who are lost. those have been here and are out "there". i am sick of the dirty looks, sassy faces and "witty" comments. i am over the fake pity extended to those who have known God and for some reason have missed it for a time. i am ready for real grace to be found by the church again. undeserved, unmerited favor.

i won't go on about the word favor, but ponder for a minute what that one looks like.

as for me...

i am going to stop trying to do my chores and get my stars.
i am going to live in the grace that has been extended towards me.
i am going to press on towards righteous living.
i am going to extend grace to the lost.
i am going to extend grace to the ones who have lost what they once had.
i am going to try and move and act with a refinement of movement.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

5 years ago today...

i took this picture:
i can hardly believe it's been 5 years. for some reason this was one of my favorite schools we visited in The Gambia, West Africa. Perhaps its because this picture is from it, or perhaps it's because i remember the little kiddos prayers.... i'm not sure exactly, but i do know that my hearts is aching to go back to Africa. especially today for some reason.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

oh.nine.

oh.nine. you were mighty fine. last year, right about now, you were full of wonder and excitement. right now you are full of memories. for now, here's my thankful list from this wondrous, exciting, memory filled year.

i'm thankful for...
...january 30 2009. you will always be the day that held a surprise, that changed my life.
...snow. although it's cold, it really is beautiful.
...-4* weather to walk through drake park and take pictures in.
...february 7th. the day jenna left to live a dream i got to pray into. rad.
...learning about love on so many levels.
...mexico. you will always tear me apart. in so many ways.
...day trips to portland. fantastic girl time at Forever21.
...photog genius surrounding my life. Alycia White. Benjamin Edwards. Gary&Courtney. AbiQ. Jasmine Star. You all inspire me to pursue my dreams.
...preaching. this is what i was created to do.
...road trips to Seattle and beyond. Oh Pike Place, always save me some french bread love.
...february 21. i moved in with 3(+baby) people i barely knew and now call family. Mike, Allie, Sienna and Brie my heart is forever thankful for each of you in my life. seriously i am blessed beyond words.
...email. it connects me to places unseen by my eyes.
...ali roberts. small. powerful. mighty.
...wintercamp09. changed my life.
...april 12. the easter that changed my perspective on eternity on my doorstep.
...healing that is undeniably God.
...april 21. celebrating 2 years in Bend Oregon.
...living out dreams.
...Beth Fischer. Seriously. NO WORDS could describe the thankful spot in my heart for you.
...Mission-Minded quotes. oh Ann Dunagan, you feed my mission driven heart!
...i heart sisters.
...the sound that gmail chat makes when you receive an instant message, it gave me 2,000 heart attacks, a million goose bumps and stopped the waiting. i will always recognize it.
...the hike up Dog Mountain that taught me to preserver.
...truth reviled. although painful, healing will come. J,S & R, i love you with all my heart and wish i could have saved you each from the pain of a world so far away, and lost in sin.
...family. for the first time in 2 years we were all together this summer. thanks Jesus, that was great.
...road trips to California. too much fun to list.
...wake boarding. Eric & Lindsey, please come back to teach me more tricks this summer!
...Lopez Island. Mama, i know you think i hate it, but i don't.
...Pastor Cliff Tadema. Thanks for believing in my Papa. My heart has never been more proud.
...13 questions that i never saw the answers to, but know they changed a life.
...lunch on wednesdays. it's always cheap food, but BRILLIANT conversation. Stephenie Madsen i blame you for my deep affection for wednesdays, but wouldn't have it any other way.
...Jesse & Taylor. WOW! need i say more?
...Twitter. seriously who told me this was a good idea?!?!
...July 26th. Jeremiah. way to take a risk.
...perspective. it changes things.
...real grace. thank you, thank you Lord we praise you. You ARE GOOD. Jordan, the words that you penned, but i'm sure were stolen from my heart.
...skype. CarissaLynn i believe Jesus invented skype for us.
...fuel for my dreams. Katie Davis. Bianca Juarez. Shilo Taylor. real life heroes.
...P.B.&J. Lashae Brewer. You, sister, inspire me.
...september 21 septemeber 28, october 10, october 19, november 21, november 22 -wonderful yet painful. i wouldn't trade you for the world on a string.
...hope that never dies or runs out.
...surprises 7 years later. i can plan my life, but only God knows how it will unfold and pop out to surprise me. i love it that way.
...my 180 lifegroup girls. i love you all.
...Seven. you will always and forever have a very special place in my heart. i love you.
...seasons. they change. they add flavor.
...my parents. they will live in a Mansion in heaven, i'm sure of it.
...Silverline Music. not my favorite band, not my favorite style of music, but i respect these 5 men of God who walk in the anointing God has placed on them, even if they play mean jokes on me :)
...my Nikon D70. Keep clicking away ole'buddy, you serve me well.
...Phil Gammel. You saved my imac. for this i am eternally grateful. I have your Christmas present waiting for you.
...Westside church. You are only a building, but you contain a vision that challenges me to run well.
...losing control. it's a brilliant miracle that we need to embrace.
...podcasting messages from around the world. food to my soul. yummers.
...my Jesus who never turns away from me. Thanks friend. We had a good year. You kept me sane in the silence and lonely times. You held my hand and held me back. You saved me over and over.
...my Abba in Heaven. You love me and i move your heart. this will always amaze me. Thanks for speaking to me in so many ways. thanks for guarding me. Let's keep talking in 2010.
...my counselor, The Holy Spirit, thanks for the Power to walk in the ways of the righteous. without you i am lost. Thanks for the intimacy i long for. Thanks for the whispers and peace. Thanks for taking my secrets to the throne. Thanks for bridging the gap between the seen and unseen. thanks for the signs of who You are.

this is what i can think of at midnight. i am thankful for so much. i'm sure i missed somethings, but seriously. i am so thankful for this last year. it was truly full of wonder and when i said "bring it on" last year on my blog... i had NO IDEA what i was getting into. but so thankful i did.