Screaming Optimist

The tears won't stop.


why doesn't the joy of knowing i am obeying what God said take away
the pain of what is happening?

march 8 2009.

Please don't give up.


Why is it that no matter how hard i try to go to sleep...
1am makes sense as the "right" bed-time?

why do i keep wanting to pick up my phone and talk for 3 hours?

how can my eyes keep crying? where do the tears come from?

why is yawning the worst thing ever?

the tears won't stop, yet i have a peace in my heart and a knowledge in my head that the
goodness and faithfulness of God is going to pull me through.
no matter what happens; HIS plans for me are good.


i have a feeling the 'beep' of an incoming text is going to make my heart jump.


i have a sudden and CRAZY longing to watch star wars.


i am determined to find a really great tree, climb it, take a picture of it and write all about it.


the tears won't stop... and my face is RED from crying so hard....
when i was little and sobbing, my dad would try and make me laugh
by asking why my face gets red when i cry.

I still don't know why it does, but it still does.


don't give up.


i am trying to be the screaming optimist.

my screaming optimist... i can hear your voice;
screaming the joys of the day and that the rain is coming!!!!
your laugh makes me smile...

and then the tears come. again.


until then. this is me: trusting Christ through tears of obedience.